No boundaries

[USTEWA2]

Hi, My son is 14, 15 in 3 months. He is pushing against every boundary we have in place and when he gets his way he moves onto the next. He is constantly at us saying he doesn't need us anymore. He is on a scree all day and doesn't do chores and homework. He now wants to keep his phone in his room and stay up as late as he wants. Our boundaries are that he goes to bed at 11 on holidays and weekends with some later nights and devices are removed from his room. He is constantly constantly at us to remove these last boundaries we have in place. It is exhausting and recently he became violent as he is not feeling heard. I feel we have no where to move with this as we have backed off other rules. Feeling helpless

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @USTEWA2, welcome to ReachOut and thank you so much for sharing your story. What you are going through is a really challenging experience that a lot of parents face to different degrees. It can be such a disempowering feeling to be stuck and unsure of what to do next. I was wondering whether you or your son have thought about seeing a therapist? They may be able to help you work out these challenges and act as a mediator  It would also give you the opportunity to receive some support for yourself - going through these situations can be so tough on well-being. Also, do you have a plan for when your son becomes violent? It must be really hard to experience that. 

There is also a service called ParentLine which offers telephone counselling. It also has a number of referrals and resources that may be helpful for you. Please know that you are not alone. In fact, a lot of other parents have posted about similar concerns. You can read their posts here but I have also tagged them, so that they may be able to provide some support on your thread. 

Please feel welcome to keep us updated 

@MumEJ @Mitzi @lizard0812 @Erin25 @Teen15 @Ankion_20 

[USTEWA2]

Thanks so much for your reply @Taylor-RO. He is seeing a therapist due to the lashing out violently. He is usually such a lovely person and this has totally blown us away. He has a girlfriend now and is totally detaching from us. He does come back now and then which is nice. Then other days are full of back lash against any rules we have in place which is down to two rules now.... We will meet with the therapist to ask for advice in a couple of weeks. In the mean time I am gaining alot from reading other parents experiences and I will also contact the parent resource you have referred to. I really expected to go through this much later than 14 especially as we have always had a close communicative relationship.