my 14 yr old daughter, is suffering from anxiety issues, and low self esteem please help!

[Parisita]

She has been having these emotional issues for awhile, and she started failing in school. The reason is because she has been most of the time living with her father who was diagnosed bipolar and has mood swings not providing any benefit to her. Since we separated my daughter has been dealing with anxiety issues. When she was coming on Saturdays I noticed she was getting angry, upset, and showing signs of bad behavior, she says don't look at me I'm ugly, when she is the most beautiful girl, do not look at me, she put her hair over her face and she doesn't want to be around friends, however she has 2 great friends the only ones she visit, but all others are just virtual friends, means she just have them through the computer, because her father allowed her to do what she wants. I'm mosey thst trying to find the ways to help her to understand her, we are going together for therapies with a counselor who she feels confortable, but she doesn't show me a bit of love, it's too hard for her to say I love you mom, it hurts so much, please give me some advise what to do. My daughter was picked up from her father last week from school and she is not attending her school classes, I don't know what to do anymore. I contacted school, police and finally the court system. Please help.

[Lan-RO]

Hi @Parisita welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing, I've moved your post to a brand new thread so that other members will be able to see it. I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is having a tough time and the impact that this is having on you too. It's never easy seeing the ones we love suffering. It's good to hear that she is attending counselling sessions with you for some support, I'm wondering how this is going? Has the school been able to provide any support? You sound like a really loving and caring mother doing the best you can. I'm going to tag some of our members for support @taokat @Schooner @Happy @Dakotah  I can see that you are located outside of Australia and wanted to advise that our resources are Australian based.  We're here to listen and support you

[sunflowermom]

Hi @Parisita

I am sorry you and your daughter are going through this.  I know how helpless it feels as a mother when your daughter says horrible things about herself.  My daughter wont even let pictures be taken of herself anymore.  I know it must be so frustrating that her father is not on board with parenting the same way you do.  Its great that she is open to counseling and I think that is the first step.  Be cautious of your daughters on line friends and app use.  I know from experience it can get out of hand quickly and people will take advantage our  kids to send inappropriate pics online or even hook up.  I am not trying to scare you.  Just warning from experience of my 15 year old daughter.

I know this is a hard time for you- but you are not alone.  Just try to keep the lines of communication open and try hard just to listen.  Hugs

[Parisita]

Thank you for your kind advise and reply, God bless you immensely.

[seekwisdom]

I am not sure if this is of any comfort to you but my 15yo today told me that when she catches me looking at her, it makes her uncomfortable and asked me not to do it anymore. Its like she is allergic to me and I do everything I can to show her my love. She does act sweet when she wants something. The deal I made with her its that she doesn’t need to love me, but to treat me like when she wants something, which it proves she can be respectful is she choses. Hormones can be very intense for girls at this age and they get so irritatable.

I didn’t understand the last part where she was picked up from school and where exactly she is right now. If her dad is making her mental health worse, maybe the court can make his visits less often until she is better? Hopefully someone of this board can help you