Hi, I can completely relate to what you have written and as a single mum of two boys, and my eldest displaying exactly what you have described in your post. And seeing that you wrote the post 2 years ago, our children are the same age, 14 now.
Firstly, I want you to know that I hear you, I feel for you and I know it feels hopeless. I don't unfortunately have the answer, what I can say, as someone who has been experiencing this for 2 years now myself is, just be present. Keep being there as much as you can for your child. Tell him you love him, hug him, even if he doesn't want to, because I think deep down they all want to and let him know that he matters.
That's all I can say. Keep being there. I'm sorry it's vague but that's all I've got. I also know that I could probably put myself out there a bit more and there's that feeling that I am hand-holding more than I should and staying at home more than I should but slowly, slowly, I hope they will emerge out of this state of being hyper conscious of what others are thinking about them and start to find some joy in other things other than gaming....but I'm not sure on how to get there either. I just know that with time and constantly trying to build his self-esteem, that we will get a bit better each day, I hope. But I also can see how self-care is critical because it's very depressing to face this on your own, if that's the case, so happy you have written about it, because we are not on our own in worrying about our kids with school-refusal and gaming addiction.
Take care.
