05-27-2022 10:20 PM - last edited on 06-01-2022 02:51 PM by Philippa-RO
My 16 year old daughter likes to sneak out to hang out with her friends late at night, she gets home safe, should I be concerned and file a report to see who she goes with and what she does?
05-28-2022 09:43 AM
Hello @Mirrashards and welcome to the forums. Thanks for sharing with us here! I'm sorry to hear that you have found out that your daughter has been sneaking out at night to hang out with her friends. It is good that you are not worried about her safety as she comes home safe. It sounds like you are in a bit of a tricky situation here, and that how you manage it might depend on your relationship with your daughter. For example, if she told you that she has been sneaking out at night, you might feel more comfortable asking her who she hangs out with and what she has been doing. Can I ask how you found out about her sneaking out?
I've had a look at some threads from other parents that have been going through some similar experiences and will link them to you in case you might find reading through some of their stories and the advice/suggestions to be helpful. Here and here are some and here is another one. Hope these help!
05-30-2022 05:59 PM
Welcome to the forum here. I am mum to an 18 year old son and 16 year old daughter. Our son never sneaked out but is more of a gamer so more likely to be online during the night than leaving the house, which is another story. Our daughter has only sneaked out once and that was about 3 years ago when a friend who was two years older was staying over. They might've sneaked out but they couldn't sneak back in because I'm a night owl and they got sprung out in the kitchen. I wasn't happy about it because of the deceit aspect of it and that we were also responsible for the friend. I spoke to both of them at the time from a position of being disappointed. I didn't yell or anything. I felt I needed time to think about it.
The other aspect about sneaking out, is that I had done it but when I was around the 16 year age mark. For me the key is to keep communication flowing and putting boundaries in place without that whole thing of "putting my foot down" which is adversarial. Maybe agreeing to a later curfew rather than have her sneak out. Being out with a group of friends rather than wandering the streets alone. I have told my daughter I will pick her up and usually pick her friend up and drive her home too.
Have you started driving lessons yet? This has been a great opportunity for my daughter and I to get closer, although there is understandably friction at times too. I found going driving together has been a great chance to chat and get closer.
I hope this helps.