Tell me it gets better

[09Mum]

My 17 yo has started taking antidepressant medication on May 20. It started as a low dose and has increased twice on June 19 and most recently July (so 70 days / 2 months-ish on medication). 

She has seen a psych once, and she is in the middle of yr 12 (8 weeks to go!)

She barley leaves her room, doesn't have a job and will struggle to finish yr 12, they've said she wont make WACE.  She is doing a uni prep course and gets all her work done from home, but most school weeks attend 50% or less of the time.

i thought the meds would lift her enough to get back on track, but i honestly feel like nothing much has changed.  She has moments where she seems happy and has fun with her younger sister (14) but most days she is in bed.

I have tried routine build, taking her breakfast each day, reminding for showers but she just doesn't seem to do anything much without constant checking/reminding

i guess i just want someone to tell me she will be ok, she will turn a corner and things will get better soon

[Bel_RO · Accepted solution]

Hey @09Mum,

Welcome to ReachOut! I’d like to start off by saying thank you for sharing your concerns about your daughter. I’d like to take a moment to focus on and acknowledge your efforts to support and encourage your daughter. I can see that you are trying your best by trying to build a routine, encouraging her to have breakfast, and reminding her to shower. While I imagine this would be exhausting for you at times, it really shows that you are a wonderful parent and trying everything you can and know. 

It appears your daughter has been on medication for two months, but there hasn't been much improvement. You also mentioned she's only had one session with the psych. Have you had a chance to schedule more sessions? This way, you can discuss your concerns about her progress on medication, share your observations, and allow her to express any current thoughts or emotions she may have. I imagine this would all be quite taxing for you and am wondering if you have spoken to any friends or family about your daughter? In case you are interested in one-on-one support, ReachOut offers parent coaching sessions that are free and confidential. 

I can hear that your daughter is also in her final year of high school, with looming exams, and having difficulties attending school. I am curious to know how the school has been supporting your daughter around completing year 12 and improving attendance? Sometimes the school can also provide support to parents by referring them to services, but also sharing strategies to navigate concerns. In saying that, has the school been able to also support you during this time? If you are interested there is a discussion here that includes resources and information that reflects study concerns and reflecting failure. 

I also want to let you know that I have had to edit out the name and dosages of the medication to align your post with the community guidelines.

[Bel_RO · Accepted solution]

Hey @09Mum,

Welcome to ReachOut! I’d like to start off by saying thank you for sharing your concerns about your daughter. I’d like to take a moment to focus on and acknowledge your efforts to support and encourage your daughter. I can see that you are trying your best by trying to build a routine, encouraging her to have breakfast, and reminding her to shower. While I imagine this would be exhausting for you at times, it really shows that you are a wonderful parent and trying everything you can and know. 

It appears your daughter has been on medication for two months, but there hasn't been much improvement. You also mentioned she's only had one session with the psych. Have you had a chance to schedule more sessions? This way, you can discuss your concerns about her progress on medication, share your observations, and allow her to express any current thoughts or emotions she may have. I imagine this would all be quite taxing for you and am wondering if you have spoken to any friends or family about your daughter? In case you are interested in one-on-one support, ReachOut offers parent coaching sessions that are free and confidential. 

I can hear that your daughter is also in her final year of high school, with looming exams, and having difficulties attending school. I am curious to know how the school has been supporting your daughter around completing year 12 and improving attendance? Sometimes the school can also provide support to parents by referring them to services, but also sharing strategies to navigate concerns. In saying that, has the school been able to also support you during this time? If you are interested there is a discussion here that includes resources and information that reflects study concerns and reflecting failure. 

I also want to let you know that I have had to edit out the name and dosages of the medication to align your post with the community guidelines.

[09Mum]

Thanks @Bel_RO 

It took 6 weeks to get the psych appointment, and she while she liked the counsellor she hasn't asked me to book more.  but yes, i could get onto this

When i ask, and allow space for her to express how she is feeling, i mostly get shrugs back or a cry or just a lack of any connect with her feelings.

School is OK, one teacher is great but there is not great whole school/wrap around support.  I feel like she was a student ticking all the boxes from grade 7 to 11. Then the last two terms when she has gotten so unwell with her mental health the school, really didn't flag anything until mid year reports that showed how bad her attendance had become.

 I am trying to access some EAP form work, for support which i think i need.  I feel like such a stereotype, single mum escaped DV and kids falling high school.

[Zig_RO]

Hi @09Mum, 

I want to start by thanking you for your response 🙂 It can be a very challenging thing to share your story and experiences online and i want you to know how proud of yourself you should be. 

From what i have read, i can see that your daughter’s well-being means the world to you and thats so beautiful to see. I want to commend you on taking the steps towards supporting your family, you have shown so much care and compassion for your child and its so amazing to read. 

While supporting your family is very important, it’s also extremely important to remember to prioritize yourself when feeling overwhelmed and drained, it’s ok 🙂

I want you to also keep an eye our for an email we are sending you, and i want to know that you can always reach out for support whenever you need, the community is here for you. 

Hope to hear from you soon. 

[09Mum]

Thanks, your supportive words and email mean a lot, thanks for being compassionate and listening.

It is so helpful just to get it out