Tricky teen

[Dimes]

Tbh, not really except just trying to breathe and take time to think about how to approach things. It’s hard tbh. Taking time out when stressed is tricky as my mood won’t allow me to relax. I am a huge over thinker- it’s one of my biggest flaws.

[Philippa-RO]

@Dimes I think it's really common for parents to worry (or overthink) about their children when it comes to things like drugs and safety, but when you feel like it's overwhelming, is there anything you find calming?

Sometimes I find that when I'm worrying about something that's outside my control, it helps to either schedule a set time when I allow myself to worry, and then put it aside after that time has finished, or I practice mindfulness exercises like imagining putting the worry onto a leaf and watching it float away down a stream.

You'll know best what works for you, but I'm wondering if there are any self-care activities like those or others that you find help to ease your worry?

I remember you said you weren't too sure about counselling, but I wondered if you've had any more thoughts on it since then? Some people find it helpful to have someone who's completely outside the situation to be able to debrief and unload with.

[Dimes]

Walking is prob the biggest thing that helps clear my mind. The last few weeks in work have been hectic as I’ve been doing overtime to cover leave. Next week I aim to walk twice. Nice long beach walks. Headphones and off to go.
Thank you for all the advice and support it has been invaluable at this time

[Philippa-RO]

@Dimes your walks sound so nice - it's great that you have something you're able to do that helps so much.

[Dimes]

So it’s been quite a few months since I posted, and I remember just how much having this post, the advice and care shown helped me so much.
So I just thought I’d post a little update on how things are going.
So, my son and I worked hard at compromise, talking and setting boundaries for us both as well as goals for the future.
I am very happy and relieved to report that since all this happened my son enrolled into military college in the sept… this has been the making of him! He has found a focus, an environment he loves and enjoys and most importantly he’s found himself, his inner voice and his self esteem has realised considerably. He met a lovely young lady just before Xmas who is a few years older, full time working and is easy going and fun.
He was recently given a ‘most promising student’ accolade in a military award ceremony and has recently completed his application to join the armed forces.
His life has been transformed, the focus is now on his future and his fitness. The smoking and (possible) drug issue have ceased and my boy is back to being the affable young man he always was with the added bonus of new found confidence, self belief and self esteem.
I am so so grateful for all the advice given on here but mostly for the kind words for myself as a mum. It’s so easy to see just how quickly things can spiral.
I sought support and counselling for myself and that helped massively too.
So once again Thankyou 😊

[Iona_RO]

Hi @Dimes 

Thank you so much for updating us, it is so good to hear things have improved for you and your family!

It can be really difficult to have those in-depth conversations with our teens around boundaries and future goals, but it sounds like it was really worth it and things improved for both you and your son because of it. Well done!

We're really glad that you found the support you needed here, and are continuing that with counselling too. It looks like things are well and truly on the up for you both, but we're always here if you need us in the future