Hey there @HippyMum,
I noticed that you've been giving some amazing advice to other users on the forums recently, thank you so much for sharing your experiences and advice with us 
I'm sorry to hear that your daughter has been lying to you, it can be worrying when we're lied to about things, especially when your daughter's behaviour is also changing. Is there anyone else in the family or a friend who you can talk to about this?
We have been doing Ask a Young Person recently and I thought this one on talking about drugs might be useful for you to look at. We also have some articles on trust and building trust that you might also find helpful in helping your daughter to understand your concerns. What do you think?
Thanks @Jay-RO
I appreciate those links however as is often the case, these seem to be 'text book advice' that works when things are going well but I find that personal experiences through these forums are good for when things are not going according to plan. I spoke with Parentline and their advice was family therapy if our concerns continue. I then spoke with a family therapist who also confirmed that we are doing all the right things. If these don't start to show signs of success, we'll take up family therapy. However, I'm hopeful that they will be successful. We will be monitoring carefully.
I have talked to my daughter (in little bits) extensively over the last few days, emphasising the need to act on her own moral compass. I have separated her behaviour from herself and I have explained the disappointment that I cannot now trust her as I used to. I asked her to lay everything out and openly so that we can start to rebuild trust.
I contacted her school with my concerns and we are working together on encouraging better behaviour. I have also contacted some of her friends' parents to see whether they have similar concerns.
Where possible, she is being made to take responsibility for poor decisions while I am also gently encouraging her to re-explore old friendships.
We have put some consequences into place, including minimising contact with those who display poor decision making and only seeing friends at home at the moment. She's not thrilled at this but does understand why. I realise that peer groups are really important to kids at this age, so I've been careful about how I've characterised this. She's keen to persuade her friends to make better choices but I've emphasised that, while this is admirable, she can only control her own behaviour.
She and I have spent a lot of time calmly together working on joint projects or alongside each other or walking/ going for lunch together, working hard on maintaining and strengthening our bond, over the last few days. Fingers crossed and action taken
Hey there @HippyMum,
It's great that you contacted Parents Line and followed through on their suggestion of family therapy. It also sounds like the conversation with your daughter went well. Hopefully things continue to improve with her peers and decision making.
Best of luck! Thank you for the update.
