Twins self harming.

[Lilly19]

Just getting this out of my brain..

A few months ago I posted about my 15 yr old being suicidal and life being miserable. Fast forward we have had child protection, police, cahms, psychiatrists, psychologists involved in our daily life. My girl is off the meds and is just numb and normal fleeting thoughts of suicide. 

Her twin who has autism has started self harming. One type of self harming is not normal for these kids. She told her psychologist 2 wks ago, that was not passed on to me and has come as a total shock. She has been another type of self harm since 2 so that is normal.

One is bad enough but the other has different needs is younger emotionally 9-11yrs and struggles anyway although she does have a job and adores it. It isn't a copy of her twin she doesn't have the capacity

In all of this my headspace went down and protective services were called in as I couldn't parent my kids. A nasty intervention so we could all feel suicidal individually. 

The one thing I have always made sure of is that my kids have constant contact with MH services. Seeing 3 psychiatrists in 2 wks was exhausting. Our MH is genetic we are all starting and withdrawing from meds - its a crazy life but seems so 'normal'. 

How is it this stuff keeps continuing and yet one day leads into the next like nothing happened..

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @Lilly19  and welcome back to ReachOut.

Thank you for being so open with us about what you and your girls are going through right now, it sounds like it has been a difficult time for all three of you Reaching out during such a challenging time for your family takes so much courage, and my heart really goes out to you and girls

I can hear that you have been working really hard to get your girls mental heath support. You mentioned that protective services were called, I can imagine that must have been a really stressful situation. Are you also seeking support for yourself too? Do you have any family/friends or supports in your life that are there for you through the tough days?

I do just want to check on your safety too as you mentioned that both yourself and your twins have been experiencing thoughts of suicide, is that right? Thoughts of suicide can feel really distressing in the moment, and we want to make sure that you have some crisis supports to talk to should you or your girls need it. I would really recommend lifeline or the Suicide Callback Service if you are based in Australia. 

Our community is always here to lend an ear during the tough times- there are a lot of parents here who can relate to what you are feeling I have just edited out a couple of words to keep within our community guidelines

[JAKGR8]

OMG how life is throwing you a curveball @Lilly19 

It seems so unfair when we seem to get such a huge load to bear and I think it is totally understandable for you to struggle. That's just it though. You haven't given up, you still work hard to manage it all. How admirable? 

I wish there was something I could do to help. Sending you positive thoughts and hope. 

[Nikkita]

So sorry you hear you and your children are going through this.
I've had depression since I was a teenager & now unfortunately my son has depression.
Yes organising all the MH services is exhausting. Yes dealing with what they are going through & knowing those thoughts first hand, is heart breaking watching your child go through it.
Depression sucks. I hate it. I'm sick of dealing with.
I think it's genetic in our family too.
Good on you for trying & not giving up on yourself & your kids, good on you for dealing with these immensely emotionally times. Your kids know you love them.
I hope you do something nice for yourself every now & then, to take care of you.
Wishing you the best of luck. Hoping it all works out.
Take care.

[Jay-RO]

Hey there @Lilly19, how have things been going with you and your daughters?

Have you find any of the advice shared in this thread helpful?