What do you do when you to k you're 16yo daughter is depressed but will not see a doctor or talk

[Sophie-RO]

Hey @DameZola, welcome to ReachOut Parents. You've found the right place, we're so glad you found us.

Can you tell us a little more about what's going on? Sounds like you are quite worried about what's going on for your daughter. It's great that you want to support her, but undefortunately it can be really hard for a person experiencing depressive thoughts to beleive that help is out there or will work for them.

You haven't told us much but a few thoughts come to mind.

Unfortunately you can't force her to talk, but do keep letting her know you are ready to listen whenever. 

If she doesn't want to talk to you, she could talk anonymously with trained peer supporters here on ReachOut for young people, or she could chat online with a counsellor from Headspace.

You can read more about how you can support your daughter, but also tell us a bit more about what's going on....

[LovingThruBlue]

Hi @DameZola

My daughter chatted online to someone from Headspace who convinced her she needed to see a dr.

Good luck.

I hope it works

[Ngaio-RO]

Hi @DameZola,

How are things going with your daughter? Did things get better?

[Elena]

I hope she went to see the doctor, but if you can't get her there, there is still some other stuff you can do.  Because she is sixteen, you may not be able to go and talk to her doctor yourself, there may be confidentiality issues, but you can ask to see a psychologist to help you parent your depressed child.  I know it may seem weird to go to a psychologist yourself, when it is your daughter who you really need to see a psychologist, but if she won't get help, you can still get help to help her. 

[Elena]

One slight note, usually you cannot go and see the same psychologist as your teenager, again because of confidentiality.

[Ngaio-RO]

Great idea @Elena and you're right, this is a practice that is often used by parents who have teenagers who absolutely refuse to seek help for themselves. There are some services, for example Headspace, that can''t work with family members unless the young person is 'compliant' but not all of them have these constraints. It's usually just a matter of calling around local services and explaining your situation.

Another option is attending a parenting course. A Google search should let you know what's in your area and what the cost might be. ReachOut parents are currently providing a free coaching course, you can read more about it here.

I guess the point that Elena and I are making is, as frustrating as it can be to watch our teenagers suffer but not be able to try getting help, we are not powerless. By building our resources, we can improve how we respond and engage with them and how we feel about ourselves as people and parents, which has a wonderful flow on effect to our kids.

Hope this helps @DameZola