Where can I send him?

[QuinlansParents]

I’ve read all the books, gone to the psychs, gotten him meds, given him supplements, tried positive enforcement….he’s stolen at least a thousand from us and family, he lies continually (haven’t heard the truth in years) he refuses to take his meds half the time, runs away (we search the neighborhood for him at least twice a week), he steals from school, other kids, anything not nailed down or locked in the house, hes smart/manipulative, he threatens us, he could be any kid on this forum.  He’s done it all.  We’ve tried it all.  His dad needs heart surgery and I’m afraid he is going to kill his dad by the continual stress.   It’s a war zone here every morning and night.  The only time we have peace is when he is gone.   We applied for NDIS - nothing has come of it.  He is adhd, asd, and most likely O.D. (we haven’t had that diagnosed) and has serious conduct disorders.  He’s 10.  I’m trying to complete a degree, so I don’t have the money to send him to boarding school (or I would have years ago).  What are our options?  Positive reinforcement doesn’t work.  The only words he uses are no, I don’t care, you can’t make me.  He makes a habit of laughing in your face.   The boys around here avoid him unless they are bored and are looking for trouble.  He gets good grades so school isn’t a problem yet.   No one will look after him, he’s too disruptive to their homes and property.  Extended family avoids him.  His bio mom had serious mental issues.  Knowing it’s genetic doesn’t solve the problems.   We’ve seen a list of useless professionals.  We can’t afford the outlandish price for therapy, though we tried to get him enrolled.  He hasn’t bankrupted us yet, but it’s coming.  We have been holding on each year closer to when he will leave.   I’m so exhausted this morning I don’t care about the judgement. I haven’t liked this child in a long time, now I don’t even have enough energy to love him.  He deserves a community that will understand him, where can I send him? What’s available? 

[Bre-RO]

Hi there, @QuinlansParents, thank you for opening up to us about what is happening for you and your family. 

You have explored many ways to approach supporting your son, and I can see the exhaustion you must be feeling come through in your post. I want to acknowledge how hard this must be for you to put one foot in front of the other when it feels like nothing is helping. 

I'm glad you've decided to reach out, and I'd like to see if we can make some suggestions for services that can support you and your family. I've got a few ideas for you: 

• Family and Child Connect can be contacted for advice and practical support. You can look at their website here and give them a call on 13-32-64. 
• Mental Health Carers Australia could also be a good service to make contact with. Their website has information and a hotline to call to access information and support. That number is 1300 554 660. 
• Family Relationship Advice Line is a hotline for families who have been through a separation. As you mentioned your son's bio mother, I thought this might be helpful as well, and they can be contacted on 1800 050 321. 
• Autism Spectrum Australia could be a good bunch to make contact with - you can take a look at their site here. I'm sorry to hear that nothing has come from applying for NDIS. It might be worth calling this service to see if there's any advice or support they can give you with the application process - their number is 1800 277 328.

It strikes me how much you have on your plate - raising children, running a household and undertaking a degree is hard work. Can I ask if there are any times throughout the week when you're able to rest and recharge? 

Thank you for sharing so openly, and please know there is no judgement. I hope those few suggestions open some doorways for you.

I have made a few edits to your post in line with our community guidelines. We will check in with you via email also, so please keep an eye out for that and get back to us when you have a spare moment.