Advice regarding my 12 year old son and his girlfriend

[Soundbite]

Hi there,

My 12-year-old son has had a girlfriend - also 12 years old - for about 6 months. Although he knows the basics about sexual matters etc, he is still fairly innocent. He only sees his girlfriend at school and it has all been pretty innocent.

We found out today that his girlfriend has been called in a couple of times by the school councillor because she has been talking explicitly about sexual matters in front of other kids that were not at her "level of development". 

My son is not aware of this.

I know this sounds a bit ridiculous & silly but...

Obviously girls at this age are generally more developed than boys, but we are worried that our son might be pressurised into situations he is not ready for. 

Any advice how we should deal with this? 

[TOM-RO]

Hi @Soundbite please don't think it's ridiculous, if it's worrying you and you feel you need some support in how to deal with it then it's important.

I wonder if it's worth having a general conversation with your son about the relationship and even what does he think a good relationship "looks like" (friendship, trust, respect, compassion, good communication etc)? 

That way you may be able to gauge he's social and emotional development; see if he's feeling any pressure or has any questions.

[Goharikamel]

Surely you feel bad about this and may be blaming yourself، But based on my experiences, your child needs more support and intimacy with you، As long as he can talk to you about this and introduce that girl to you as a friend.

[taokat]

Hey @Soundbite, welcome to the forum, and thank you for sharing with us. I think it's admirable you've sought support for something that's causing you concern, so not silly at all. I think there's a wealth of knowledge amongst parents for all our parenting questions. 

I really like @TOM-RO's suggestion and think that's a great place to start.

I thought you might also like to have a read through one of our fact sheets here about sex and teenagers. It provides some useful info and gives some tips on how to handle that conversation. 

Do you know this girl and her family at all?

[taokat]

Hey @Soundbite, I just wanted to check in with you and see how things are going? Have you had any progress?