Hey @sunflowermom, I'm really glad you used the word 'yet' when telling us that it's not coming together for your daughter because allowing time to recover really is the key.   I'm also really happy to hear that allowing the door to be closed has created a space where your daughter feels she can and will come to you when she needs to discuss things. That totally seems like a parenting win to me, even if you're finding the process hard. ... View more

Hi @Struggle it's great to hear that you're willing to give the Parents Coaching a try. You can learn more and register by visiting this webpage. ... View more

Hi @SASpurs67, just a quick bit of housekeeping: we have removed a link from your post. As part of our community guidelines we ask that people contact us here to ask permission before posting any links. We ask that you please do not edit your post to include links again, or we may need to remove the functionality that allows you to edit your posts.   Secondly, I can totally understand how hard it must be for you to discover that the openness and trust that you thought you shared with your son isn't always there. It is important that you talk with your son about this, and I really like @motherbear's idea of making sure that the chat is soft and casual. This will help your son to participate in the conversation and keep him from raising his guard and shutting down.   Please let us know how you're going. ... View more

Tagging a few of our newer members to see if you'd like to introduce yourself to our members: @Roberts @specialneedsdad @Shep96 @sunflowermom @Coco_96 @Mikesf @punky70 @Ladyhawk17 ... View more

Hi @Becca2018 just a quick note to let you know that I have moved your thread into the 'Teenagers' Everyday Issues & Mental Health' section of our forums, so it will be seen by more parents who can offer you advice. ... View more

Hi @Ladyhawk17 and welcome to the forums. I can see from your post that you have been a loving and dedicated support system for your daughter. What I can see you might be in need of is some self-care tips to help manage your own well-being. You might like to take a look at this information on self-care for parents as a starting place.   I'm also going to invite some of our parents to offer any tips they may have: @taokat @motherbear @Zoesplace @Chalke5 ... View more

Hi @punky70 very sorry to hear what happened over the weekend. It must have been terrible to have to have the police involved in looking for your daughter. I can see how you would feel at your wits end.   I'm going to tag in some of our parent peer supporters to offer any helpful advice and wisdom they may have: @taokat @Beingme2017 @Chalke5 @Zoesplace   And lastly, please remember to take some time to look after yourself. Self-care is really important to help you be at your best for both you and your daughter. ... View more

Hi @Spatty, welcome to the forums. It sounds like you are going through a difficult situation with your gson (which, just checking, you mean as grandson or God son?). You certainly seem to be making every attempt to be understanding, and not to embarrass anyone with a public display of anger or discipline - which I consider a great start.   I'm going to tag in some users who may be able to offer advice and insight based on their own experiences: @taokat @Schooner @beehive @littlecore @lucille @jphole ... View more

So I know that it can be really hard to find the positives some days, especially when we're going through a rough patch.   But, I thought that I'd invite some of our newer members, to let us know what they're grateful for, even though they might be going through a tough situation right now.   Would @Shadow, @Helpless, @Worried_1967, @Aquilina, @Ilovemichael, @bradyblend, @FollowAriadne would you like to join us? ... View more

Hey @Shadow, I saw you're new here, and thought you might like to introduce yourself a little to everyone, outside of simply discussing your current issues with your son (which others can find here to help you with). ... View more

It's not 2017, but it's still awesome... Has anyone caught the new David Letterman show on Netflix?   Also, I'm not forgiving 2017 for revealing to me that my precious Foo Fighters are a 'Dad Band'.   But I did like that it introduced me to the literary work of Dave Grohl's mom - Virginia Hanlon Grohl - who wrote a book about the mothers who raise musicians. That book re-introduced me to some music I'd forgotten, and also some new bands I hadn't yet heard about.   I can honestly recommend reading 'From Cradle to Stage' ... View more

Today I'm grateful for the local wildlife that likes to visit my balcony. Specifically one particular cockatoo who likes to sit there and stare. He has no fear of humans, you can talk to him, yell at him (when he eats things he shouldn't), pat him, feed him or attempt to chase him off and he just sits there calmly until he's ready to leave.   (Oh that we could all be so calm and self-assured) ... View more

@Ariesgal2017 it's been a few days now. Do you have anything more to add on how your feeling and your next steps? ... View more

I'm going to add a quick hello to @daisybongo @mommyof2777 @Megan90 @Aquilina - please feel free to introduce yourselves (see Nick's questions above). ... View more

Gives a wave to our latest members @FollowAriadne, @bristol_1, @Jj123, @Ilovemichael, and @bradyblend   Come say hi and tell us something about yourselves. ... View more

@Beingme2017 you may just have to be a combination of persistent and patient. I know that when I was living through the teenage years, my family set aside a no excuses family dinner on Sunday, with not just the immediate family, but the extended family. It was expected that on Sunday evening at 6pm you would be present, and all books, TV's and other distractions (I grew up pre-devices) would be left behind in favour of family discussion.   Not even getting a part-time job was considered an excuse for skipping family dinner (that bit may have been a bit extreme, as my colleagues weren't fans of me having every Sunday night off).  The routine of it meant that no matter how much we wanted to be elsewhere, or who we weren't speaking to that week, we rocked up for dinner because excuses would not be heard or accepted by The Nana.    So maybe as a family you can all decide together a day/meal that will routinely be a family gathering - with no excuses and no devices to be accepted? If they resist a dinner, there's always breakfast/brunch? Also if the gathering comes with treat foods it could make it a special experience they'll look back on fondly later. ... View more

Hi @del677  welcome and thanks for asking about the community guidelines, so you can ensure that you don't post improper things as you continue interacting with other members.   The wording you're looking for is: "Contact us here before you post campaigns, projects, media requests, research, links to other websites & assignment surveys/interviews"   If you click 'here' it should take you to the appropriate email address. ... View more

Hey @taokat, I'm weighing in only as a God parent here (of a freshly minted teenager, who has been acting like one for a while now), but I really liked this line:   "We don't take our adolescents' viruses personally and we probably shouldn't take their grumpy moods personally, either. Happily some of the support we offer the flu-stricken also works when teenagers come down with grouchy silence. Without delving into what's wrong, we can ask if there is anything we can do to help them feel better."   I've long been preparing myself for the day when I'm not my the favourite toy of the kids in my life (because in growing up they gather friends and hobbies and sports interests that don't include me), but I think this line will be very helpful next time I get totally rejected in favour of them running off to be alone or with friends. ... View more

Hi @TiredMum it sounds like you and your husband are doing everything you can to help your son, and I can only imagine how exhausted you both feel not to have found the help you need for your son. Unfortunately it can take a few tries to find the right professional when we seek help.   I'm not sure if you've discussed it with them yet, but your own GP may be able to recommend someone suitable in your area.   beyondblue also have a find a professional page on their website, which includes tools to access the National Health Directory, the Australian Psychological Society’s (APS) Find a Psychologist service, and the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Psychiatrists' Find a Psychiatrist directory. Hopefully these tools can help. You can find the page here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/find-a-professional ... View more

Hi  @indsg12  just a quick note to let you know that I've move this post from the Chillout board into this 'Connecting with teenagers & their wellbeing' board.  This is a really interesting and relevant topic that many parents would face, so  we want to ensure it is easily found by  everyone . ... View more

Hi @doball-96_ and welcome to the forums,   I can see that you care a lot about how your son is affected in social situations, and are looking for ways to help him gain some confidence. I'm going to recommend this resource on Getting help for teenagers to you.   You could also potentially recommend these articles from our Youth site to your son: How to make new friends and, because you're worried about the effects of his quiteness on his ability to find a part time job, How to ace a job interview.   We have a great community here, and I'm sure some will be along soon to help you with things that have worked for them. Maybe @taokat has some advice to offer.  ... View more

@HelpMe I too am interested to hear how you're going, and if you have found any of the advice here useful.   I know you said you can't afford to see a psychiatrist, but have you considered discussing how you feel and what you need with your GP (maybe print what you've typed here if talking with your doctor is hard)? They might be able to provide you with a mental health care plan that provides Medicare subsidised visits to a mental health counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist. ... View more

Hi @Sparkle   Thanks for reaching out. We’re sorry to hear that you’re having a tough time connecting with your daughter on this difficult topic, but it’s great that you keep trying and that you have sought help from your GP to get her a referral to a counsellor. Try to encourage your daughter to continue to see the doctor and counsellor, with or without you present.   It is also important that you keep reaching out, and keep the conversation open with your daughter, even if she withdraws. Even though she may not be ready to talk yet, it is important that she knows you are there and ready to listen and support her when she is ready to talk.   I know this might seem super difficult right now but I can tell from your post that you are already doing great things to keep the lines of communication open with your daughter by writing her letters and offering all the love and support you can.  I love that you are considering the  ReachOut Parents Coaching service .  I think this is great because it will help you with one-on-one training about your specific situation and help you with practical tips about how to best talk to your daughter about your concerns.   There are a few place you might like to look into and recommend to her for additional support: You can encourage her to speak with Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800 to help her cope when she feels the urge to self-harm The Butterfly Foundation also has some resources for both you and her, to help promote a healthy body image:  https://thebutterflyfoundation.org.au/   You also need to remember to look after your own mental health as a carer, so that you can be your daughter’s best possible support. Posting here for support was actually a really great start,  as there are other parents on here that have given great advice about this in the past like @waldo_pepper and @motherbear. ... View more