I need help reconnecting to my teenager. He has undiagnosed, untreated OCPD. How do I help?

[Tootsjac]

My 19 yr old son has suffered some form of anxiety, depression, OCPD/OCD symptoms for 10 years. I worry about him and want to help but he shuts me out completely. He & I have a lost connection. He won't speak to me.

Firstly I want to reconnect with him. Difficult when he doesn't want to talk.

Heart broken Mum

[Kalis]

Hi @Tootsjac,

Welcome! We're glad you've joined us.

Ten years is a long time to worry about your child's health and now that he doesn't want to talk this must be especially hard. You said your son's symptoms were both undiagnosed and untreated – is he not willing to talk at all or even to a professional about how he is feeling? Would he be happy to go to a GP to start, do you think?

I'm sure others will have better tips from their experience but I just want to reassure you not to give up hope. You are doing the right thing to try to get help for your son.

[ElleBelle]

Hi @Tootsjac, welcome to the forum. You're not alone in trying to reconnect with your son, and I hope some other parents can weigh in with their experiences. Does your son still live at home? It's just heartbreaking when you see someone you love struggling and they reject your help. There is some info on things to try here, although it's specific for depression it can be applied more broadly. Have you had a chance to check out the resources on the site yet?

[Tootsjac]

Thanks for your reply.

Yes, he still lives at home.

i'm just trying, gently, to have day to day interactions that are positive. Now his exams are over he's a bit better at talking, but not to me; just my hubby & other son. He still avoids me. i'm not able to discuss anything with him. If lucky, he might ask something & I answer. That's it. He's nowhere near a conversation about getting help or even acknowledging a problem.

Small steps...

[Kalis]

That is very challenging @Tootsjac, and I'm sure must seem hurtful. Would your husband consider raising these concerns with your son?

@Mumofthree @ziggystarmum @Rehab @mum_of_four @mumlittlehelper Do you have any communication tips you could share from your experience?