My 12 year old daughter wants to get adopted what do I do

[Gr189]

She is a 12 year old girl with Autism and her stepdad dose not maker her feel comfortable, she keeps having arguments with her and when she settles down (4 hours later) she says that she wants to be adopted and if that doesn’t happen she will make it happen herself

[Health-hazard]

Sorry to hear that. We've had similar type things happen here with my eldest daughter (13) yelling at me "why didn't you just have an abortion?" and other sad sentiments. We are not through it yet.
Things I am doing include frequently telling her I love her. Label all the care I give. "Here is the dinner I prepared because I love and care for you."
Is the stepdad getting care he needs? It can be hard to reset after conflict but it is necessary.
Does she have interests that you and her can follow for special bonding time?

[Chloe-RO]

Hi there @Gr189 ,

Thank you for posting and sharing what has been happening for you. It takes a lot of strength to reach out and share your story. I read that your daughter finds it hard to get along with her stepdad and they keep having arguments. It must be so hard to see this happening all the time. 

I read that after your daughter calmed down, she asked to be adopted and if it didn't happen, she would make it happen. Were you able to speak to her and ask her a little more about how she was feeling and what was happening for her?

It sounds like she was quite upset even after calming down.

Do you have any supports around you who you can lean on when things get tough? e.g. family, friends?

I'll send you a check-in email shortly.

[Blake-RO]

Hey @Health-hazard 

Thank you for sharing what has been going on for you. It sounds like you have also been going through a challenging time with your eldest daughter.

I am sorry to hear that your daughter has been saying those sad sentiments to you, it is understandable how upsetting and hard it must be for you to hear those things. It is clear how much you love and care for your daughter and she is very lucky to have you.

It sounds like you have been doing a really great job at making sure that she knows how much you love and care for her which is really great to hear. Have you found this to be helpful?

I also encourage you to create your own post if you are ever wanting to talk more about this, or share anything else that may be on your mind. We are all here to listen and support you as much as we can.

Take care.