My Son’s Girlfriend

[MTK96559655]

Hello, I am new to this forum and would like some advice on my son’s relationship with his girlfriend.  My son is turning 19 in a about a week and he has been with his girlfriend for about 10 months.  This is his first serious Relationship and it seems to be consuming his life.  He was always been the life of the party and had tons of friends, spent a lot of time with our large family.  But, now all he does is work and spend every waking minute with her.  In the beginning He started having her spend the night at our home a few times and we put a stop to it as we thought was the right thing to do.  The problem was he just stayed at her dads house and we never saw him. My wife and I loosened the rules and started letting her stay over which helped because we got to see our son more often but it’s starting to eat at us.  I was raised in a very traditional home and I don’t think its right for them to be spending so much time together….  We honestly like his girlfriend, she is a really sweet young girl but we feel they need to spend time apart and live their own lives.  They are moving way to fast…. I want to in force the no stay over rule again but am concerned we will never see our son and push him away… Any advice is greatly appreciated!  

[Jennifer-RO]

Hi @MTK96559655, 

Welcome to the forums!

It sounds like you really care about your son and miss him and how he used to be before his relationship. It seems like this is all quite new and exciting for him, and it’s good to know that his girlfriend is a nice person. Whilst as a parent you can see that things may not be the healthiest for him, I understand your fear of possibly pushing him away.

As your son is growing older and going through different changes and experiences, how are you feeling about it all? He may not always make the best choices for himself, and part of that might be a process of growing up and finding out what’s right for him. It sounds like you love him and will support him if he needed it. Have you discussed this situation with anyone other than your wife?

We hope our community will also discuss their experiences! In the meantime, our website has some articles that may be worth reading here 

Whilst you are going through this (and possibly other issues in the future), we hope that you receive adequate emotional support, are there others you can confide in?

We hope that you can still spend some quality time with your son and your family and continue to nurture the relationship whilst he explores his new romantic relationship.