01-09-2021 01:39 AM
01-09-2021 03:48 PM
Hello @Maxxis_Gurl , thanks for sharing with us. It sounds like things are really hard for you and your family at the moment and that the situation you are in is complicated. You mentioned that you are having some conflict with your mum around parenting your children. It sounds like it would be helpful for you to have an honest discussion with your mum about how her type of parenting conflicts with the way that you would like to parent your children. It might be helpful for you to raise some of the concerns that you have shared with us here and you could mention how you appreciate that she is trying to help but that you believe the punishment she is implementing is not too helpful. Does that sound like something that you think would be worthwhile?
2 weeks ago
This is really tough and seems to build conflicting emotions for you.
I figure you mum thinks she is helping you which probably makes her feel good. It might be time to have the "You be the grandparent and I'll be the parent" chat. This is not an easy conversation. You might want to take her out for coffee - somewhere public - if you think it could get heated.
It is important for you to remind her that she is living in your house because she needs to. You can acknowledge her love, experience and contributions to the household. You value her suggestions, however, that is all they are, suggestions. You can say things like;
Than have a consistent and clear set of expectations for the household where everyone knows their rights and responsibilities AND consequences. A mature teen should just need a verbal reminder, redirection and then a follow through.
Also, she isn't going to be around forever so ask her to be the fun one. Ask her to be the one her grandson wants to go to for help and advice - your backup adult. Ask her to be the 'good' guy for a while and see how their relationship changes. He might do more for if she changes tack. Unless their being in cahoots leads to more trouble for you of course. Both my parents and in laws are going through health crisis' at the moment and they are so glad they took the fun role.
Good luck. I'd love to know how it goes.
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