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Parenting schedule

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Bashy93

Parenting schedule

Hello, I work night shifts 3 nights a week. I then come home sleep 6-8 hours and then have our little one then go back to work. The little ones mummy has her nights sleep ( normally no interruptions ) then has the little one while I’m asleep and then gets angry at me when discussing ‘time to ourselves’ she goes to the gym for 1.5-2hours and when she’s back it’s time to start the putting to bed routine which we both do one bit each of. Bath and feed.

I feel I have no time to myself when I am working , then she feels angry when I ask or try to talk about the free time ? I don’t know if it’s just I don’t understand how hard it is for her or she’s doesn’t understand how hard it is for me ?

Please give help , suggestions and advice on how we can improve this!?

Thank you!
Parent/Carer Community Champion
JAKGR8

Re: Parenting schedule

Hi @Bashy93 being a parent, who shift works. is really difficult. It can seem like you never get on top of things and can never fit in with others, especially social life. You may never share the same days off, shops are always shut, family are everywhere else etc. Having said this parenting is just as hard.
Hubby is a shiftworker and we never know his roster for the next month until the last week of this one. We try to prioritize his sleep, as he is the money earner, and one of ours didn't sleep through until he was 5yo, but all other roles in the house are fairly evenly split. He shares most parenting duties and does a fair chunk of the house work, especially cooking. We found while the kids were little 'me time' was a dream but it's much better now.
Parenting is a very emotional and full time role. We treat it as a full time job. There's lots of teaching, touching, consoling, entertaining, disciplining and mothers in particular find it hard to 'turn off' according to research.
So I don't offer a solution but ask you to consider reflecting on what you do and what needs to be done as a family. Then your partner may be more open to discussion.
Also, even though bubs is older, it is possible for mum to suffer PND, undiagnosed. Good luck.

JA
Parent/Carer Community Champion
PapaBill

Re: Parenting schedule

Being a good dad is hard and takes a lot.of work and sacrifice

Anyone male can be a father
Being a good dad is hard
I worked shift work many years then was divorced. Doing both same time would be incredibly hard

Saying that, you need to focus on you and your children
What your ex does in her down time is immaterial.

You say you workimg 3 x week
If u getting the some time off on the other four then that is your chance for you time
Any parent worth the name will tell house it is hard

As someone at the end of a divorce and with young adults I would say it's bloody hard but worth putting hard yards in
Parent/Carer Community Champion
Dad4good

Re: Parenting schedule

Hey @Bashy93 ,

 

Hope things are going better and you can see a light at the end of the tunnel!

 

Domestic/work imbalances are common and so I just wanted to share that you are not alone.

 

Not sure of the best way forward for you, but communication (where possible) is usually helpful.

 

I remember years ago, my wife and I created a scheduled  (it had the added benefit of highlighting how imbalanced things were).

 

Best of luck, and let us know how you go Smiley Happy

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