Trying To Adopt My Sister

[bxyofstorms]

Hi everyone. I didn't know exactly where to put this, but I hope this is the right place. I'm a 19-year-old trans male.

Several months ago, I discovered that my mother (who left when I was 7) was pregnant with her second child. She had the baby back in August. Now, my mother is a drug addict, and she had done drugs while pregnant with my sister so the baby was taken away from her and the father (her drug dealer) and was placed in the care of his mother, who is in her late 70's / early 80's.

My mother was abusive towards me, my father, and is abusive towards her boyfriend. The baby will not be safe with anyone close to her or him. None of her sisters will take the baby (long, bad history in the family) and I refuse to let my sister be placed in the foster system.

I plan on adopting her. I'm getting a job, working on my mental health, and I'm studying again. All of this is great and all, but the problem is that I'm only 19, well, technically I'm 19 tomorrow on the 5th. I've never had siblings and my parents have always been absent, I've never gotten along with my cousins. I know absolutely nothing about parenting and I don't exactly have good role models to look to for advice and guidance.

I just... want some advice on parenting from here while I go to DHS for legal advice regarding going to court and whatnot.

Please help me.

[Andrea-RO · Accepted solution]

Hi @bxyofstorms, 

First of all, I wanted to say that you are making an incredible decision in deciding to take guardianship of your younger sister. Your sister is incredibly lucky to have someone who clearly loves and cares about her so much in her life. The most important thing that a parent or guardian can provide their child, is unconditional love and support. The rest you will figure out together. 

In terms of getting things together, it sounds like you've got a good grasp of what you need to have to best support your sister as she grows up. There are quite a few different support networks which are around do provide advice, information, and guidance for those who foster/adopt a child, depending where you're located. I'd encourage you to have a look into the services in your area. 

[Andrea-RO · Accepted solution]

Hi @bxyofstorms, 

First of all, I wanted to say that you are making an incredible decision in deciding to take guardianship of your younger sister. Your sister is incredibly lucky to have someone who clearly loves and cares about her so much in her life. The most important thing that a parent or guardian can provide their child, is unconditional love and support. The rest you will figure out together. 

In terms of getting things together, it sounds like you've got a good grasp of what you need to have to best support your sister as she grows up. There are quite a few different support networks which are around do provide advice, information, and guidance for those who foster/adopt a child, depending where you're located. I'd encourage you to have a look into the services in your area. 

[bxyofstorms]

Thank you so, so much for your kind words and advice, I really appreciate it.

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @bxyofstorms,

Just wanted to check in and see how you are going?

We are all sending our thoughts your way!