LGBTplus

[Red21]

a new topic for me in my life... and recently that of binders ... tops for girls to minimise their breasts.  I am researching as to whether these tops are healthy physical wise , apparently they have a 8-12 hour guided wearing in 24 hour period.   I am visiting a chiropractor wednesdY for a treatment and will ask her opinion too - do they harm a girls body , breasts, ribs lungs , just my initial thoughts and would I recommend a girl of 13 to wear.  she has spoken of body dismorphio and is coming out to experiment her sexuality and its Meaning and her place as an adolescent.  

grace and gratitude that we are able to talk openly about many things.  

So my question is , has anyone any personal experience and knowledge of binders and how ones physical health may/ can be affected by wearing. 

Thanks 

[Ngaio-RO]

Oh @Red21 I'm so sorry!! I don't know how I missed this post!!

I don't know a lot about binders other than the standard stuff I'm sure you know too. I.e. it needs to be properly fitted, can't be too tight and needs to be an actual binder rather than a bandage or something else, and that it needs to be taken off every evening for sleep. (although that might be wrong)

I think your plan of talking to a chiro is a great one. I would also suggest giving Twenty10 a call, I know they get referenced a lot in this area but they are just so good at supporting the GLBTIQ youth community.

Another option might be reaching out to your nearest sexual health clinic. If not for guidance at least for some info on where you can get credible and health based info. You should be able to find your nearest one by Googling.

[Sophi-RO]

Hey @Red21 - it's great you are looking for info and advice about this. I personally know a lot of people who have used binders and I will write a bit about that later on.

I know Ngaio mentioned Twenty10 - that's actually a NSW service - the national service is QLife and I really recommend you give them a call or webchat: https://qlife.org.au/

We also have some info about young people questioning their gender identity elsewhere on RO Parents that I will link. Gender identity and presentation (like hiding breasts etc for people assigned female at birth) is more about gender (the way you feel about yourself) and possibly not about sexuality (the way you feel about other people).

While it's good to research the health implications of binders with the young person, the psychological and mental health benefits of a binder can not be under stated. It's a good to idea to weigh up the huge mental health benefits alongside the physical health implications.

I noticed you also said girl she/her - I wonder if you have talked about what pronouns they would prefer? Often people who wear binders might not want to be referred to as she/girl etc - they might - but having a conversations about their preferred pronouns is a great idea (QLife can help you prepare for this too).

I thought I would also share some content we have about these issues:
A parent's story about their teenager's gender identity

Help being open and approachable to LGBT+ teens

Supporting a transgender teenager (they might not be trans*, but they might be)

[Red21]

Thanks @Sophi-RO @Ngaio-RO - always love the support here.

I have found a good WA site called Living Proud.  I have read quite a lot and read the reach out resources and think that we are doing well talking and are on track.  I am pleased that my daughter has a social circle where they discuss openly too and have come out together, yet my daughter is happy to not tell too many others as she is happy purely being herself.  All early days and no rush - ill be guided by my daughter, she's amazingly awesome and mature - her confidence in being loved has been re affirmed and she's happy to talk bits and pieces everyday and about other life stuff too.  I had never really thought of all the things i am learning presently but one thing is for sure at the moment i think it has bought us closer - funny the talk and watching of 13 reasons why brought about the opportunity to discuss and thats how we started.  

I do let my kids know that they can talk about anything and realised that my daughter had wanted to talk for a while and on the day in question she tried 3/4 times to enter the room and say.  She's a brave one, i realise possibly not as much as she that it must have been a hard thing to do, yet she was so relieved that i was accepting and still loved her unconditionally (of course i would - but she didn't know).  

I am a great believer in being a guide and providing a safe place for my kids to grow and learn and feel honoured that they can be themselves in whatever form or shape is good with me.  It shows courage and resonates back to me my biggest teaching to them to listen to their hearts and be true following the path of their heart. 

WA also has Headspace with a new LGBT plus learning area - exciting. 

[Sophi-RO]

Hey @Red21, you sound like a very thoughtful, open and loving person, which will make all the difference to support your teenager! I loved reading how you talk about your family and your support "I'll be guided by her" and one step at a time. Fantastic.

I think there is also the Freedom Centre in WA that do amazing things!

[Ngaio-RO]

That's wonderful @Red21 You sound like you're doing all the right things. I also love your approach to your kids and to parenting. It's so compassionate and loving. I learn a lot from it.  The Freedom Centre's website is here if you want to check it out.

And thanks @Sophi-RO for those great references.  It takes a village!!

[Ngaio-RO]

For anyone wanting to have a look, here is the link for Living Proud in WA.

[Red21]

Thanks Sophi .

[Red21]

Thanks Ngaio - the link was so user friendly and I checked the site out , thanks again.

[Red21]

Well , I am still undecided and continue to research binders for my daughter.  The chiropractor wasn't too keen, due to scoliosis and the compression.  Today we found an amazing sports bra, such a better fit and support and actually has some compression in it too - so in the meantime a step forwards and a noticeably happier daughter.   

Oh and right now, she's on the phone to her first girlfriend .... who incidentally is two years older.  How life progresses a little faster each day - my daughter is bubbly and was happy to share with me her news whilst on the phone with her new friend ... i am pleased that we are able to share.