My grown up 19 year old step child cant sleep alone, and always sleeps with her 20 year old brother.

[Majik_Dan]

The kids were raised in Africa, in a small one bedroom house. Everyboday shared beds so she has never slept alone. Now we have them and the 19 year old girl is always sleeping with her 20 year old brother. She cant sleep alone, any advice on how to approach this situation and correct it?

[Hannah-RO]

Hey @Majik_Dan 

This sounds like a tricky situation, have you been able to chat to your step daughter about why she likes to sleep with her brother? She might find sleeping with someone else quite comforting and it sounds like this is what she has become used to over her life, so making a change to sleep by herself would probably be a big adjustment for her.

If you and she feel like she needs to start sleeping alone so she can be more empowered or independent, it could be something that you phase out together? If she is feeling fear around sleeping by herself, it could be an idea to get some support from a counsellor or psychologist so she can work through those feelings in a supported way.

If you're comfortable sharing with us, I would be interested to know what you concerns are around the two of them sharing a bed? I'm also wondering how her brother feels about this, is he keen to have his own space?

Let us know how you get on