New member? Introduce yourself here!

[Janine-RO]

Hi @ceskia22 , 

It's so lovely to hear that you found the resources helpful for this strange world we find ourselves in at the moment   

It's wonderful that you are seeing some positives in the current situation and that you were able to share those moments with your son. I have an 11 year old myself, and we have a new routine of having a walk together at lunchtime whenever possible, we seem to have much better conversations when we're out going for a walk than we do at home, and I am also really valuing those little moments. 

How are your kids finding the transition to learning from home? I have to admit it's had its ups and downs for us. But you're spot on when you say that if something doesn't work, you just have to pick up and try again. Great advice in general for parents, I think! 

[LanaM]

1. 1. How old are your kids and what is one thing they've done recently that made you laugh? My girls are 20, one month off 17 and 15.
2. Parenting can be really stressful - how do you try to keep those stress levels down? Very hard now, but swimming usually. No access to the town pool these days! Otherwise, art and music!
3. What led you to ReachOut Parents today? The universe made this add appear on my FB newsfeed! Have been researching similar sites, but nothing I have found yet has been what this site seems to offer as far as on the ground/in the ring advice!
4. Whats your top tip for parents whose kids are about to enter teenage years? Buckle up! Maybe don't take everything to heart, which I still struggle with. But what gets me through is the mantra of "their brains are still developing". They don't mean to be as mean as they are. That could very well just be me & my kids though though. But it helps me, so hey! 
5. Whats the best thing about weekends? Not having to poke the bears! As in, not having to wake kids for school! Though now they have jobs so......

[EpOL16]

Hi. I have 3 children. My eldest son is turning 17 years old, my second son just turned 12 and my daughter is 4 years old.

My eldest son was 9 years old and I was 34 years old then, he found out that his grandmother went to the Lord at the age of 40. Somehow my son assumed that 40 years is the maximum age of people. He began to say "I love you, Dad" every hour, every day thinking that I'd meet my end in a few years. Hahaha. I had to explain to him that 40 is not the end. We prayed for the family after. Even when I'm past the age of 40, he has carried this wonderful, sometimes funny, sometimes annoying (cause he still does it multiple times a day every day) trait to young adulthood. Well, I did pray to God for an extraordinary boy. Hahaha. 

[Janine-RO]

Hi @LanaM  and @EpOL16 , 

Welcome to the ReachOut forums, it's really nice to read a bit about you both

@LanaM , I love your mantra reminding us all that their brains are still developing. It's definitely something that can be so valuable to remember, especially when things might go a bit haywire in the teenage years (when you can almost see their brains furiously rewiring themselves in front of your eyes!). My kids are younger (11 and 3) but we are definitely noticing the signs of impending teenager-brain in our eldest. 

It can be hard to cope with everyday life and stressful situations without our normal coping mechanisms during covid-19. Is there anything else you're enjoying instead? Are your kids learning from home at the moment? 

@EpOL16  life must be very busy with kids ranging from 4 to 17 - I have 8 years between my kids, and it definitely keeps life interesting That is a very cute story from your son, our kids definitely have ways of keeping us smiling and on our toes! 

Are your kids attending school at the moment, or are you guys in learning from home mode as well? 

[Maiseygirl]

Hello, I’m new here. I have a 17 year old son who I love very much! But I’m exhausted and I don’t deal with the stress very well. It’s been hard the last year for sure. I’m just looking for help and support from other parents .

[TOM-RO]

Hello @Maiseygirl, welcome to our forums! While looking after others, it can be easy to forget about our own needs. I am glad to hear that you have acknowledged how you are feeling and that you have reached out for support .

Do you mind telling us a bit more about what has been going on for you? I think that these times right now are very stressful and it can be very easy to feel overwhelmed right now with all these changes. Are there any activities that you normally do to help when you are feeling stressed? 

If you are interested in trying out something new, we offer a free professional service that provides one on one support.You can read more about it here. Please feel welcome to keep us updated. 

[JLT79]

Hi, I’m jodie, I am a mum of two lovely boys aged 13 and 10. Everyday they make me smile with their little pieces of knowledge. I learn from them every day.

I have found my way here as my eldest boy is very troubled. He is suicidal. He hates himself and he hates his life. And he now hates me.
I feel that I’m losing him. Sometimes we have a bond for a week or two. And then he flips and his feelings towards me hurt so much.
I don’t know how to help him. And I have such little support. I am a single parent and his Dad offers no help to me.
I would love some help please.

[Taylor-RO]

Hi @JLT79, welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing your story. That sounds like a really difficult situation to be in It must be really hard on you and your family It is really great that you are reaching out for some help. You mentioned having little support - have you talked to a professional about your son's suicidality and/or your own well-being? It must take a toll on you, especially as a single parent. Also, have you created a safe plan for when your son is feeling suicidal? Do you know what to do when he is feeling suicidal? We have some articles on suicide which you may find helpful. 

Please feel welcome to create your own thread, it makes your post more easily visible to other parents. You can do this by clicking 'Start a topic' in the top right corner. Also just so you know, I have taken your name out of your post as ReachOut is intended to be as anonymous as possible.

[JLT79]

Thanks so much for your quick reply. Yes I won’t lie, it’s hard and I just feel like I’m going at this blind. I have no idea what I’m doing. He has had some help from CAHMS but it didn’t really do much to help him. And so we have no safe plans for when he is feeling suicidal, and I just don’t know what to do when he is feeling this way. Which is why I’m so glad I found this site. Ok yes I’ll start a separate thread and hopefully people will be able to offer some advice.
Thanks again x

[Janine-RO]

HI @JLT79 , 

I've responded on your other thread but just wanted to add some resources here that might be helpful in helping you and your son to make a safety plan for when he is feeling suicidal.  The suicide callback service have some great, clear information on how to make a safety plan, you can find that here. 

They also have an app that you can use, the ReMinder Suicide Safety Plan App, which you can use to develop a plan that can then be downloaded onto his phone. Thinking of you, it sounds incredibly stressful and exhausting and it sounds like you're doing a great job.