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New member? Introduce yourself here!

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Bree-RO

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

@Myfeuilletine look forward to reading through your thread Smiley Happy Will be good to start a discussion around some of these situations with young people, as well as the rapport your Son has with his Dad and how to manage that with the conflicting time zone.  Will keep an eye out for your post!

Super contributor
Ngaio-RO

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Welcome @Myfeuilletine

 

Starting a topic is absolutely the best way to get other parents feedback on your specific issue. Please feel free to start one. 

I've worked with lots of families that have a break down in the relationship with their teenager and any links between the teenager and another family member can be seen as a gift that can make all the difference.

It might hurt your heart that he's being horrible to you and loving to his Dad but on the information you've given, I'm going to make a guess and say he's angry towards you because you're the safe one. Deep down he knows that no matter how much he vents at you, you'll stick around. You're the constant. 

 

It's very common for kids with an absent parent (and I say that with the upmost respect for Dad, I'm sure this is not by choice but necessity) to be angry about the absence. They just aren't always great at articulating it. And kids are smart enough to know where to direct their anger, most of the time. It doesn't at all mean that your husband needs to quit his job. It just means you guys need to work on some strategies to help your son feel more connected to Dad no matter where he is. And how to vent his anger appropriately so you're not wearing it.

 

How does that sound?

 

 

Active scribe
Myfeuilletine

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Thanks for this, @Ngaio-RO. Yes, it sounds quite possible that he is angry with the situation, and yes, I am a constant in his life (maybe to his mind, constantly on his case). My husband does try his best to keep in  touch regularly with him and with my two other children. Our situation is actually much better now, compared to before, when we were in another country and he was here in Oz. We had to live with that for about 4 years, with my husband coming home to be with us for about 4 weeks every 6 or 8 months. So our current status (being in the same country now and getting to be with him every 2 or 4 weeks) is better than before.

 

I will start a thread about our situation and I thank you in advance for helping me out. Just being able to connect with other parents already makes me feel less burdened and worried. Thank you very much. 

 

 

Active scribe
Myfeuilletine

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

thanks very much, @Bree-RO! i will start my thread soon and I also look forward to getting advice from the community. this is very helpful, i feel better already actually . Thanks. Smiley Happy

Casual scribe
Bubbles74

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hi

I've got 3 preteens. 10yo boy, 6&8 yo girls. They crack me up everyday.
Still learning how to keep my stress levels down. Never been good at it. I've added study to the mix this year, while this is another source of stress, it's given me something of my own. Plus an (early) night out once a fortnight.
I heard about ReachOut through a Spotify ad. My son first showed signs of anxiety & depression at 6 yo when we had a hospital trip due to threats of self harm. Hence I'm on hear early.
Based on my teenage years, I'm going to agree with an earlier post, NEVER tell a child 'School days are the best days of you life.'
I love the relaxed pace of the weekend that can, on occasion see my older two cooperating rather than fight!
Super contributor
Ngaio-RO

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Welcome @Bubbles74
So glad you're here!! Even though most parents have slightly older kids it's great you're here in response to things you're already experiencing. And so great to hear your kids make you laugh. Laughing together is amazing medicine.
Please ask us all any questions about the forums if using them is unfamiliar to you.
Would you be willing to jump over to another area and start a topic on what's going on for you?
Prolific scribe
Ben-RO

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hi there @Bubbles74 It's a pleasure to e-meet you!

 

What are you studying if you don't mind me asking?

Active scribe
Diannebrown

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hi friends,
  I am Dian, a newbie to this forum. Glad to meet everyone here.
 I am the parent of a 5 year old child. My kid is hyperactive. He always wanted to do something. Since he is dancing very well, we have joined him in a dance class. After his school hours he spends most of hid tim in the dance class.
Super contributor
Ngaio-RO

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

Hi @Diannebrown Your son sounds awesome. It's always wonderful to see boys being encouraged to dance. They have all the same inclinations towards music and moving their bodies as little girls do but, I have learnt from watching my son, they get a lot of grief for it. It saddened me that my daughter dancing was met with strangers saying 'you should do lessons' and my son heard things like "oh no, don't let your dad catch you doing that." (direct quote, btw). It's heart breaking.

 

I hope your son feels or experiences none of that!!

Super contributor
Ngaio-RO

Re: New member? Introduce yourself here!

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Welcome to @Lulu04  @ mirvat & @yousernayme  so great to see you here!!

 

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We'd love to learn more about you. So if you have a moment, want to asnwer the following:

1. How old are your kids and what's something they do that makes you laugh?
2. What led you to ReachOut Parents today?
3. Last holiday destination and what you thought of it?
4. Favourite meme?

 

If you want to go straight to getting something off your chest, jump here and start a topic.

 

Or if you want to get familiar with the forums first, jump here.

 

Finally, if you're here because you've heard of the new, free, online coaching being offerred and you want to secure yourself a place, jump here.