Need help now?

Self harm and anger

Discussion forum for parents in Australia


Self harm and anger

I discovered my 13 year old daughter was self harming. Since then we have been on a downward roller coaster ride. The school is aware of this and has rallied to help. We have a psychologist who she has seen 3 times. But that’s not the worst part. She has stopped going to school. We’ve implemented a reduced timetable but that’s not working. She’s aggressive, takes no ownership of her behavior and has completely turned our home upside down. We have been trying to do our best to understand and make her feel loved but she’ll be ok for a spell and then go and do something stupid and cause chaos in the house. My oldest daughter who is currently in the midst of her senior year is getting abused if she says anything wrong and is now suffering anxiety. My own mental health has been triggered and I’m feeling so helpless. My husband is completely lost and uses anger to deal with the situation.

We are meeting with the psychologist tomorrow and hoping to get some answers. Or at least understand what is happening. I’m just so exhausted 😟

Re: Self harm and anger

Message contains a hyperlink

Hi @Needsupport23,

Welcome to the ReachOut Parent Forums! Thank you for sharing what you’re going through. I can see how taxing things have been for you and your family. It can be difficult to discover that your 13 year old daughter was self-harming. Have you been able to speak to her about this? Do you know if there was/is something happening at school? There is an article on self-harm and teenagers that I encourage you to read as it may be helpful. 

It’s amazing to hear that you have been able to get support from the school and a psychologist for your daughter. I can see by the support your daughter has, that you are trying everything to help and understand what she is going through. In your post you said “she’ll go and do something stupid and cause chaos in the house”, if you feel comfortable, are you able to explain further what you mean by this? 

I can also hear that your eldest daughter is going through a lot at the moment. I am wondering if she may be involved in any of the upcoming sessions with the psychologist? I am also curious if she has access to any individual support? 

It would be difficult to manage your own wellbeing and also seeing how lost your husband is, while taking care of your daughters. I encourage you and your husband to explore Carer Gateway as they offer counselling, tips, and coaching. Parentline is another great service who offers confidential and anonymous counselling. ReachOut also offers free 1:1 parent coaching, which may be another service you can connect with. It is important that you and your husband take care of yourselves! 

An email has also been sent to you, so keep an eye out for that.