25 May: What matters most to parents

[Maggiemay]

Wednesday Wrap is a mothly live discussion facilitated by parents for parents. This month, next Wednesday 25th May, we're talking about what matters most to parents.

We've all ended up here on ReachOut parents because of our drive to do the best by our kids, because there are times when we are concerned. We love and care for them, we are responsible and involved in their lives. We face many different problems and new problems that we’ve never come across before. Sometimes it’s difficult and we don’t have the answers or know what to do next. Other parents can offer us advice, reassurance and help.

Join us on Wednesday 25th May from 8 - 9pm. We want to get to know each other and find out why you joined ReachOut parents. We'll discuss what you want out of this space and what we all can do to help our teenage kids. So far the most common topics has been related to anxiety, bullying and communication. So if you have any tips for dealing with any of these issues, bring them along.

See you right here Wednesday 25th at 8pm.
Want a reminder? Kudos this post and we will email you on the day of the chat.

[Maggiemay]

Hi everyone and welcome to our first Wednesday Wrap.

I'm starting this off with why I got involved with Reachout.  I have two teenagers, a boy 16 and girl 15.  Times have changed since I was a teenager.  I was told to basically suck it up and get over the difficulties that I was facing as a teenager.  I don't want my kids to feel that they need to inhibat how they are feeling and what is causing them concerns in their lives.

I am grateful to know that when I am feeling like I do not have the skills or knowledge to be able to help my kids in a positive and nurturing way that I have somewhere I can go to get guidance from not only professionals but other parents that have been through the same or similar experiences.

[readthemanual]

Thanks, Maggiemay, for starting our first wrap.

My turn now: so what matters most to me as a parent? My answer is that as a parent we need to go on with our own life, so as a life-long learner, I need to keep learning! This is also why I got involved with ReachOut, as I took the chance to learn psychology.

This learner attitude enabled me to learn about child rearing/child development before my daughter grows to certain stage so that I am well equipped with skills and knowledge before I take actions. I call this 'reading the manual' before operation.

[Maggiemay]

One piece of parenting advice I would give is that as parents we go from being the boss where we can advise our kids and set very strict boundaries to when they become teenagers we become consultants.  We are not there to solve their issues or tell them how to run their lives but more to guide them to find the solutions that leads them to the best outcomes.  

It is a difficult time.  We still want to save them from themselves and the difficulties of society but we need to be able to let them make mistakes so they learn and gain the skills they need to be able to mature and make good choices.

I believe this goes against our natural instincts as protectors of our children.  But we can choose to walk in front as a guide, walk beside to let them know we are there always and walk behind to give them a subtle push when needed.

[Maggiemay]

Well said @readthemanual.  It is very difficult to keep our own identity once we have children. There is that innate need to put them first and we tend to ignore our own needs. 

I agree that we do need to keep learning and improving ourselves as this sets us up as good role models for our children. When we board a plan the instructions are in case of an emergency place the oxygen masks on you first then attend to your children.

[Maggiemay]

ReachOut parents is a new site that has invaluable resource fact sheets available to all parents.  We will continue to add more content and need your input to make sure that we are meeting the requirements of all parents of teenagers.  

For us to grow we need the support of the parents that have already signed in.  So please spread the word and join in our forums.  Everyone has a story to tell and yours might help someone.

It is your real life experiences that could help another parent support their teen through the everyday issues and tough times.