@taziness it seems you have quite some issues here with your daughter, but it is a bit confusing as to what the real problem is. @ElleBelle you have asked all the questions I am impulsed to ask. and I agree that if there is any physical or material consequence, we should attend to it immediately.
My daughter is younger, so we have not come to the point of 'having sex' yet, but we have extensively discussed about it and she shares stories about her peers with me. I am glad to know that most of the time, things are not too bad/dangerous as mothers of daughters would imagine.
I would purposely set up a scene/conversation, may be while watching tv, or mentioning about reading an article, a novel, or talking about a friend or even yourself when you were young and discuss the topic with your daughters. I don't know how old your younger one is, but it is never too early to discuss about sex. According to my daughter, many children discuss about sex when they were in primary school. So why should we not at home.
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