Responsible Thinking Process - Model for helping children learn responsibility for behaviour

[PapaBill]

@JAKGR8 mentioned in one of posts about something called Responsible Thinking Process.

I didn't want to divert the conversation from the topic but was interested in what @JAKGR8  was talking about.

I found an online reference that talked about how it works  https://responsiblethinking.com/how-the-rtp-process-works/.  I found all of that really interesting but hard to follow, luckily someone has put it into a simple flow chart with the basic questions outlined in order.

While not having anything formal like this when I was raising my children, some of the questions reminded me of the discussions I had when the kids were little.  I still remember my son insisting on receiving the consequences of his bad behaviour even when I wanted to "commute his sentence".  

The worst was when I broke a rule and they used the same things on me!

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @PapaBill,

Thank you for resharing this! I love seeing the resources our community have been looking at.

I have just embedded the flow chart here so everyone can see it on this thread: 

It sounds like you have used something similar before @PapaBill. Did you notice any changes in your kids behaviours after having similar conversations?

Would love to hear from other parents whether you have used something like this before? How did having conversations about learning responsibility of behaviour play out in your families?

[JAKGR8]

I love the theory behind this Process @PapaBill Unfortunately, a lot of adults have a lot of trouble releasing ‘control’ of others behaviour and the Process fails for many schools and families. I had the privilege of listening to Ed Ford and Tom Bourbon speak about 20 years ago and they made it all seem so clear. 

Here is a video Tim Carey reproduces on basic PCT. 

https://youtu.be/R_hBn809cew 

[JAKGR8]

I add one more question to this Jess...
Is that what you want?
If they are really struggling with the process I might ask, “Is this behaviour getting you what you want?”

Also if you use these questions all the time, after a while, you only need the first and last questions.

[PapaBill]

When I was as new dad I was always on the look out for GOOD parenting advice.

I knew I didn't want to be like my dad (who was from the feed them spank them and you a good dad days)

A couple of truisms I latched onto were

1. Listen to the little things when they are little and they will tell you the big things when they are big
2. Give them choices.. Little choices when they are little so they can make big choices when they are big

It not only helped my kids learn to make choices it helped me learn to let them make the choices..

Letting them choose between Red vs green top at 2 taught me as much as it did them and prepared us both for later when they had bigger choices to make.

We found it worked for us..My Daughter still remembers if from her terrible twos.. how we were consistent in applying our version of this.   

Today she jokes "I still remember that bloody naughter corner followed me everywhere" 

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @PapaBill,

I really love this sentence "Listen to the little things when they are little and they will tell you the big things when they are big" - a really valuable focus! Building that trust early and consistently can be really helpful in later adolescence