I try to speak to her but she says to me it is her way of dealing with the pain. Then she will ask have I hurt you mum, I say yes which is the honest answer and she get this happy face and says good then laughs and walks away. Then she will say "Mum deal with the hurt" I still love her but just want to cry. I want to sell her piano because she does not play it anymore even at school. But when I suggest I'm going to sell it, she then screams at me for taking the one thing she loves away from her. So am in a delema, she has lost her flute as well. I have spent all this money on her because of her interests but to no avail. through it all I still love her but she is tearing me apart. ... View more

If I answer give these questions to my daughter, what do I do with them? ... View more

Hello again, I am the mother of a 14 year old that I have talked about on this site for anxiety and self harm. the Doctor has taken her of the medication and we went to Perth for a holiday. It was very trying for the family as she kept distancing herself from us. She kept saying I dont want to be here I hate it but was content to be involved with all the things we did. When we returned she self harmed. She has been at school 2 x weeks and it is getting worse. It is so confronting. I keep telling her that I love her very much. She keeps putting me down. She is around a friend who I think has a great influence on her and is advising her to run away etc. If I try to keep her away from this friend, she will think I am the worst. She is also trying to break her sisters relationship with her boyfriend. Her sister is older. I know she is very jealous of her sister because she has told me. Tonight she actually blamed me for all the trouble she has and all the self harming episodes. I still love her. She is still seeing the Psychologist every fortnight but claims its not helping. What do I do? ... View more

Hi Taokat, I have read the fact sheet that @Mona-RO suggested. When I had a traumatic accident 4 years ago the psychologist I was seeing for pain management, I explained what was happening and she gave me a lot of research on self harming. Your fact sheet had the same information to what she provided me with. I thank you so much for the concerns regarding my daughter. Its lovely not to be judged and feel like a bad mother as I do question where did I go wrong. I have to also deal with a husband who says how many times do you hit a brick wall and he wants to give up. He also blames her attitude on her not having many friends and being a know it all. I have explained to him that she is very like him. You should embrace her curiosity and knowledge especially for some one so young, but he just withdraws. He is trying is best. Thanks for your support, this goes to everyone. ... View more

Hi, My girls are 14 and 16 years of age. My 14 year old I have to be careful when I laugh at her, I know its trivial but at dinner when she dropped her carrot on the table and she said "Mum it ran away because it could see my mouth coming to eat it." My 16 year old when she tried on a top and it was a little short and she agreed with me. I keep my stress levels down by walking every morning. I came to ReachOut Parents because I was browsing the internet for answers for the problems I am having with my 14 year old. I don't have a tip only a suggestion Stop put you problems aside and listen to your kids. Best about weekends is that as a family we spend it together doimg a recreation we all like.   ... View more

Hello Motherbear, Thank you for your concerns her Councillor is also a psychologist. The GP only wanted her on the medication for 6 months as he said she is still developing. Her depression is an off shoot of her anxiety. She still gets up for school and goes to school. She went to the school Councillor but she came home and was very scared because the school Councillor said she was a risk and that she would be better in foster care. She asked me does she have to see that school Councillor again. I said not if she feels that the lady is to negative towards her. The school Councillor had my daughter convinced that she was going to take her away from the family it was hard. I had to ring parent line for advice, after talking to them they said they will not take her away. I was just as scared as she was. I felt that this school Councillor had unraveled five years of keeping my daughter feeling safe to being unsafe at home within an hour. Why would you say that to a child with such issues? How do I make her believe that she belongs to the family, that she isn't a disappointment but a very much loved child. I mean this example,  the other day, I came home from work and she wrote on a piece of paper "For the Mother who is loving and strong with love hearts and a Strawberry drink. The piece of paper is now on my fridge to give me hope. When she has her good days she is loving, kind, courageous and funny. Then she withdraws. I don't know what to do, except to keep fighting for her. I see her Councillor/Psychologist this week to work out some issues with my daughter. I'm glad I have found you to talk to, it helps to write my fears down. I am trying to keep positive. I have a friend who is a trauma Councillor and another male Councillor who all know my daughter and give me hope that she will pull through. My family is hurting but we put a brave face on and we still do a lot of things together even though my daughter can put a dampener on the fun, but We will persevere as a group. At the moment we are in a calm stage, I hope it lasts a while. ... View more

I have tried all sorts of ways to help her some are giving her a red texta to mark herself with. One of her rewards for not self harming for two months was to go to Japan for two weeks as an exchange student. She was looking forward to this a great deal. But alas as soon as she came home she self harmed. I have tried the elastic band to no avail. She has been getting aggressive but I try to brush this off as a coping mechanism for her. I had a safety plan in place for her at school and at home but because of her delicacy with her emotions it is constantly changing and evolving. My biggest fear is that she will attempt a suicide again. She tried this but only told me about it in the last few months. So when she is really melting down I am on suicide watch. Sometimes I will hold her until she falls asleep then I stay with her all night, just to make sure she makes it through and to show her she isn’t alone. I have a 16 year old who says to me she doesn’t understand why she feels the way she feels (her sister) she sometimes cries on my shoulder when she is scared for her sister. The older sister also comes to my defense when the younger one has gone too far. My husband has tried what we call daddy dates and takes her out, but this hasn’t helped. When she goes to her girlfriends house I have great fears but I have to show I do trust her but it is hard. It’s hard when she has just given up. How do I get her interested in life again? ... View more