Hey @Empty , It sounds like an incredibly difficult place you are in. We are so glad you have reached out. It's important you have the opportunity to connect with a community and perhaps share some common concerns. I can hear how worried you are and you feel as though you have 'failed' your eldest 3. At the same time, there comes a time when teenagers tend to make their own choices. This does not necessarily mean you have 'failed'.  Perhaps it's also an opportunity to speak to your younger children about online safety? You may be interested in reading this article about how parents can support their children in navigating the online world. As adults, we sometimes feel we need to be a step ahead, especially when it comes to technology. If you have questions about how to further support your children, you may want to speak to a counsellor on Parentline. ReachOut also has free 1:1 coaching service for parents which may be helpful for you. Above all, do you have supports in place for yourself? You mentioned that you feel "emotionally unavailable". Do you think talking through some of this with a professional may be helpful, whether it be with a GP, counsellor, or psychologist? Self-care is certainly of utmost importance at this time. Parenting can be hard at the best of times. When things get tough, it doesn't mean you have 'failed' or you are 'no good' as a parent. If anything, it shows incredible resilience and courage. We encourage you to continue connecting with the ReachOut community here. I'll also be sending you an email shortly so keep look out for it :) ... View more