@motherbear@Beingme2017 I get that too! "All my friends parents drive them! You're the only parent who doesn't drive" "I think you just love making me suffer. I don't know what I did that makes you want me to suffer".....Seriously?! You'd think I asked her to clean the toilets with her tooth brush. Flat out refuses to take the bus to work but she'll take the bus downtown with her friends to go shopping or "hang"......I will admit....I have put "the curse" on her. "when you grow up and have kids, I hope your daughter is just like you"......I'm pretty sure my Mom did that to me lol. Thank you both so much for sharing your experiences with your kids. It helps so much.
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Thank you so much @Beingme2017! I appreciate the feed back. Nice to know that my daughter isn't the only one who does stuff like that. When she says stuff like "I think you enjoy making my life so difficult"....it stings! Good grief girl if you only know how much I've done for you. I am in second marriage blended family situation and things with her father were not great. I fought tooth and nail for all of the kids and to protect them. She did end up walking home and she wasn't in a "mood" when she got home. She even helped me walk the dogs. Sometimes I think she's testing me to see if I'll cave. (I used to cave..... A LOT) My husband and I went to a family therapist to help with the blending of the family and she was very helpful about not caving and teaching independence and not catering to their every whim etc. It's working but it's hard! have kids they said....it'll be fun they said.....ugh LOL. thank you for your support. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.
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Long story short we live about 15 minutes from my daughter's school. It's a 15 - 20 minute walk. She EXPECTS a ride daily and I've told her no that she can walk. She is 16, soon to be 17. It's winter and there is snow...she says she can't wear her boots to school because she doesn't have a locker (I told her in September to get a locker), now there are none left. I suggested she share with one of her many friends....she flat out refuses or says that no one will share with her. She does whatever she can to avoid actually walking to and from school. She'll take a cab, but now that she has no job, she can't really do that. She said she'd get another job but finds it "too stressful". My 19 yr old son has a job and while I will drive him to work, he does chores in return for the drives to work and if I tell him I can't take him to work, he doesn't go up one side of me and down the other. As soon as I tell my daughter no that I'm not coming to get her she pulls out all the stops and tells me she thinks I enjoy making her life miserable. That I'll driver her brother where ever he wants to go but I won't drive her. I won't drive her because she "expects" or "demands" it.....I will drive her brother because he does not "demand it". If I tell him I can't he simply finds an alternative way to get where he's going. My daughter lashes out and tells me how everyone else's parents drive them around and I'm the only one who won't.
Today she went to a friends after school to "work on homework"....it is not snowing, it is not cold out....she asked if I could pick her up on my way home (it is not on my way).....because she has too many books in her backpack and it's too heavy to carry all the way home. (yet she will walk to this friends house at 6:45 in the morning so she doesn't have to walk to school alone, but she doesn't want to walk home with her book bag containing 3 text books). I told her no. She says I'm hurting her feelings and making this all about me and not listening to her. She's sooooo frustrating. I love her but good grief does she try to manipulate.
How do I keep my sanity and not feel hurt by the "guilt trip" of how difficult I'm making her life an how she's such a "hassle" for me
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