Hi @momof1teen I hope things are going better for you. I have struggles with my daughters too and I feel your heartbreak. My husband doesn’t get it and doesn’t support me which makes it all worse. Anyway, a couple of older friends at work have told me their teens went through some really bad years, but things turned out ok in the end, and their adult children, who are now parents themselves, have apologised for some of the things they did and said as teens. You are not a failure and it is not your fault. Hang in there, let her know you love her unconditionally no matter what she does. Personally I love the author Nigel Latta as his book taught me not to take things so seriously all the time and even how to find humour in it all. Take care x ... View more

Hi Taokat I hope things are going for you. I have struggles with my daughters too and I feel your heartbreak. My husband doesn’t get it and doesn’t support me which makes it all worse. Anyway, a couple of older friends at work have told me their teens went through some really bad years, but things turned out ok in the end, and their adult children, who are now parents themselves, have apologised for some of the things they did and said as teens. You are not a failure and it is not your fault. Hang in there, let her know you love her unconditionally no matter what she does. Personally I love the author Nigel Latta as his book taught me not to take things so seriously all the time and even how to find humour in it all. Take care x ... View more

Hi Carebear, I completely understand your situation. One of mine has been bevaving that way for the last 2 years. For the first 18 months I cried a lot, pleading with her and telling her how much I love her and trying to communicate with her for me absolutely nowhere. It’s frustrating when friends and blogs suggest that you try to talk to your teen - mine will not talk. Things changed when I read a parenting book by Kiwi parenting author Nigel Latta. I learnt that no matter what she does or says or how she behaves, it is not about me - she is not actually rejecting me (even though it feels that way). In fact she may not even realise the impact her words have on me because teens don’t understand things like empathy the same way adults do. The book helped me to take things “lightly”, not to engage with her when it is pointless, let things go that don’t matter but above all, not to take it personally. This has actually enabled me to not take things so seriously and I don’t ge upset anywhere near as often. Sure it still hurts sometimes when she is rude, but if I keep smiling and don’t let it bother me, she is less rude, less often. I guess there is no point performing when you don’t have an audience. Hard as it is sometimes, I focus on the beautiful nature she had when she was little and I keep on loving her regardless, using humour when possible. I see your post is a bit old now and I hope things are going better for you. Take care xx ... View more