Yeah, she walked back in a couple of hours later. Absconded again today and attempted <insert risk taking behaviour here> before QPS intervened and brought her back. Doesn't want to come home. We've enrolled in a Triple P parenting course and we got a CYMHS flyer yesterday with some mental-health focused courses so we'll have a go at them as well.
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Yes, we have no other family and there is no way we'd want to leave S with friends, its just too dangerous. We both get support from family overseas so that's good. We have a really good GP and endocrinologist. I think what is required is a week's breather to catch up with all that's been happening over the past 6 months. Part of the problem is that when we are spending most of the time just dealing with all the symptoms its tricky to get down time to plan for the future. For example I think over one 2 week period we had something like 8 admissions, you get to the point where just staying awake at the appropriate times is an achievement. The most recent diagnosis is BPD so we'll go with that, the latest symptoms match and it gives us something tangible to understand and handle. We too had an insulin pump, its a great bit of kit and hopefully S will be getting it back in a year or so. We also briefly had a trial of a CGM and I can highly recommend it, no more having just 7 to 10 daily data points to try and figure out where the trend is, instead you get more data points and therefore a really good sense of how much and by what rate her BGL is changing. Going to the hospital after work today to see S. We really miss her. 6:30pm She's absconded from hospital.
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Yes, I started the online version of the Triple P Parenting program last week. Cue spooky Twilight Zone music. I'm working full time but I see there are some evening classes nearby we will sign up for them once the current round of hospital admissions has ceased. S always says that she has told someone else why she doesn't do certain things so for example when she didn't eat for 4 days she gave the reason to a CNC nurse; and then of course we don't get to find out why. Frankly I don't think she knows herself half the time, there appears to be no particular trigger apart from when someone chastises her over something minor - its not just us, if she has a bad session with the medicos that'll do the trick. Being a diabetic comes with its own set of problems as you can imagine, there is essentially no 'leverage' and the possibilities for self harm are multiplied. I'm confident that the support links supplied so far will at least give us a shot at reopening a communication channel - and that's half the battle right there, so many thanks to you and Nick.
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That sounds like a very good idea, we met with a Child Safety Officer this morning and went to the hospital to see our daughter 'S' (not her real name and not an initial) in the afternoon. They won't be letting her out and frankly we wouldn't take her even if they did. We can't provide a safer environment at our house than she would get at hospital and loathe though I am to keep her there without a good medical reason (its not good for her) at least there she has security to ensure basic compliance with her safety needs. I will give ParentLine a call tomorrow. Without any false modesty my wife truly is the one who is doing all the hard yards on this, she's the Formula 1 GP driver, I just keep the windows clean and stop the wheels from coming off.
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Yes that's fine, I did try to edit out identifying information to follow community guidelines, I can see the content you have removed and am happy you have picked up on it as its removal doesn't materially change the post.
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Hi, I am looking for strategies to try and help mitigate our current situation which I have described below.
Our 14 year old daughter is a type 1 diabetic with mental health issues.
She self-harms and engages in risk-taking behaviours.
Overdosing had been going on for about 18 months but only identified as such since August 2017 when the other behaviours also surfaced.
She was under medication but this was quickly abandoned and community engagement given preference as the best way to achieve a balanced outcome.
She is currently with AMYOS for community-based care and treatment and LCCH for in-patient episodes.
There has been no identified reason (apart from the obvious stress of being diabetic) for any of the above issues, or rather they may have been identified to health professionals however in the interests of ensuring her privacy we are not privy to them.
She has been admitted to a number of hospitals.
Her admittances to hospital are now weekly and usually involve both QAS and QPS to be in attendance.
She will abscond without hesitation if she is not at home and hide, so far last week this has happened twice once from a sporting acivity and once from a scheduled diabetes-related appointment, the last time required two shifts of QPS and a SAR heli.
She will then walk up to a stranger and say she can't go home because she isn't safe. So far she has been fortunate with this approach however sooner or later her luck will run out.
This absconding has happened around 15 times during the past 6 months.
Her home is now a safe zone where unsafe items are at least two locked doors away from her at any time.
We have a 6 ft fence and all external doors are either locked 24x7 and/or have push button access to exit to which she does not know the code.
We don't particularly like doing this but we have no real choice in the matter.
She no longer has access to phones because she uses them to hassle and complain to friends in order to garner attention and sympathy.
She has low self-esteem and body image and appears to have alienated most of her school friends.
She says we do not 'allow her to do anything'. The last time we 'allowed her to do something' by herself she met a girl 3 years older than her who had befriended her in the adolescent mental health unit and as a result she indulged in further risk-taking behaviours.
We have had to toss her room in order to remove unsafe items.
She comes with all the usual teenage traits of being selfish, self-absorbed, self-centred, attention-seeking and impervious to any reasonable request, and of course loved unconditionally.
If she is admitted to hospital under an EA (examination authority) she will have a security guard in attendance; she will attempt to abscond anyway. If she is not under an EA she will walk out of the hospital and security will use CCTV to tell police in which direction she ran off.
We have had to carry out CPR on her when despite checking on her every 10 minutes she still managed to get into a situation where this was necessary.
She has excellent spatial awareness. I have seen her in a room at the hospital with four police and she easily evaded them all. She will bide her time and pick the best opportunity for escape; and she can keep up this level of awareness for hours.
When she is discharged from hospital she will attempt to unlock the child-locks on the car doors, if we do not monitor this or forget to do so due to a combination of tiredness and/or stress she will attempt to exit the moving vehicle at speed on the way home from the hospital. She will attempt a similar action via windows in police cars unless handcuffed.
Local QAS and QPS know all of us by name, as do most of the hospital staff. We are on a first name basis with hospital security guards and know some of their life stories.
Thinking about joining the hospital's loyalty card program, after 10 admissions we apparently are entitled to a free gift of a small carton of diazepam.
That last one was a joke as obviously if it were true we'd be able to start our own pharmacy.
We have now reached the point where our daughter's needs are all covered.
Now its ours (but still with a focus on our daughter), for example my wife has recently seriously considered just leaving and I don't blame her.
There is no way she can continue to stay awake 18x7. She doesn't need pastoral care or people telling her what a great job she is doing or how hard it must be for us.
We've had that. We are over it. We need some practical non-medical assistance.
We are now at the stage where Child Safety will be getting involved because we can't continue to provide the level of care that our daughter requires and still remain as a viable family unit.
Does anyone else have similar issues and what strategies do you use to combat them? I'm not talking about the medical side, that's covered.
I'm referring specifically to what happens at home once all the medical professionals have exited the scene.
1) How do you handle absconding? 2) What, if any parenting strategies do you use to try and get a child to keep safe, i.e. acknowledge her diabetes and make some attempt to help us (or herself) deal with it? 3) What do you do about respite care? We've tried FACC who gave us DSQ and some other support links we don't need. Diabetes isn't a disability and mental health is medically treatable so we aren't eligible for respite via them. DSQ gave me some numbers of respite care to call and I was about to do that, all of them appear to be for aged care or people with a disability.
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