Hi @RichardC, I agree, that's a tricky predicament. I can only offer my own experiences with my similarly-aged daughter. I too grounded her, in our case from going to a supervised party that her friends were also going to. She was grounded due to giving what I believed was an unacceptable (expletive-laden) response to a question. The party was subsequently cancelled! I had a long conversation with her to explain to her that there are consequences for misbehaving in 'the real world', and asked her what SHE believed an acceptable consequence was. She ended up suggesting her own 'punishment'.
It's not an easy process but I found that my daughter actually owned her own behaviour when she was given the opportunity to understand it (she of course initially suggested that she shouldn't bear any consequences!). It also gave her an understanding of other peoples' boundaries and she felt a little more empowered in herself.
It's a delicate conversation and only you will know whether this is right for you and your circumstances, but I hope this helps a little.
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