This response is intended for @sunflowermom . I can't tell if the system automatically does that for us or not.
Well today I went into his room and took out everything and anything that he could use to self harm. I told him I did it, and told him basically what I said in my first comment. That while he has a choice to give them to me or not, I have the choice to basically override his wishes if he doesn't. So that's what I've done. I mean there are still "tools" in the house, ya know in the kitchen. It wouldn't be a big deal to walk in their and grab one of those, and I wondered if I should put those up too. In thinking about it right now, it seems like I should. Would be kinda of stupid of me to remove them all from his room but leave some in a draw in the next room huh?
We are seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow. It's the one he's been seeing. I had a meeting with teachers at the school today. He's in tenth grade. Failing just basically about everything. He walks in the room to meet with myself and the teachers and was like a different child, one I didn't know. One I've never even seen before. Admitting he's wrongs, and that he's not been trying at all, and that he will start. Speaking up when spoken too and offering more than just a response to an answer but detail too. It was really odd. I mean he's not been on Prozac that long lol. I hope he wasn't pretending, I guess the coming days and weeks will determine if he was.
I realize this may be a long road from the get go. I myself am a recovered alcoholic. I recovered long before my son was even born though. But I know how long self discovery in addiction can take. And how hard that road can be, it's tough! It's rough! However it is what it is, and for the most part it's not stealing my peace. Because being at peace always no matter what is going on is something I've worked long and hard on, and I got it. But taking all his tools out of his room will definitely let me know how committed he is huh? I mean if he shows up with new cuts, that will tell me a lot more about his intention. Praying and hoping that doesn't happen. I appreciate your comment, thank you.
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First Thank you! I appreciate you taking the time to respond. We took all his "tools" out of his room today. And we are going to see the therapist tomorrow. Anyways I appreciate all your kind words, it really did help! Chad
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In the last month my son has self harmed twice. The first time I found out about it we where putting together a monitor on his desk and I noticed it, he wasn't trying to hide it, but he had been he told me later on. I see that as a good sign, that he didn't hide it from me, and owned up to it when I asked him. I've been through a lot of stuff in my life, and at the time I just didn't think that taking away the few tools he has was the solution. Well I know it's not the solution, but he's done it again. The first time he self harmed, on his own he gave me the thing he used. He said, " Here you can take this ". So I thought that was a great sign. None the less today on the ride home from school I noticed him hiding the self harm. So I asked him if I could see if the previous self harm where healing good ( and they were, I knew that already ). It didn't take much to get him to show me that he had self harmed again.
So my son is seeing a therapist for about four months prior to him self harming for the first time. He's on medicine, but not enough time has passed to determine if it's helping yet. The kid is just depressed! He doesn't know what he's depressed about, he just is. We have a very good family. Loving, and kind, there hasn't ever been any thing that would justify this type of depression. Well at least from my point of view their hasn't. But all that aside I'm wondering should I take his tools away. When I found out today that he had done it again I asked him if he would give me the tool he did it with. He then asked me, "Do I have a choice" and my reply was, "You always have a choice". So I didn't get the tool this day.
I'm thinking of taking his tools away because while he has a choice not to give them to me, I to have a choice. I have the choice of walking in their and taking them from him. I understand that taking away ever tool in the house won't solve the problem. I get that. But I don't want to signal to him that by leaving them in the house, I'm condoning it. So I know people will have an opinion on this and maybe that will help me to decide whether I should or shouldn't remove the tools from his room. He's got like five or six. Just old tools from myself and my father and grandfather. We gave them to him, you know like passing them down. Anyways, thanks for any help
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