I hear you. Good idea approaching a friend to help. Whatever helps. Don't give up as the message you want your daughter to hear is that;- 1. you love her 2. you have her back 3. you want to be in her life all that you ask 1. can she meet you half way to start by ....... 2. can she work with you 3. can she put forward suggestions on where to start ** Sounds like you may have to offer a clean slate to bargain for a new beginning As humans we can react with anger, when underneath we're scared. Her age group is a scary one with hormones, fear of failure after school life, etc. Unless of course you have other factors which you may have to explore. It's big I know :-)
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I'm 54 My kids are 22 and 25 years My 22 year old daughter has the behaviour or a 19 year old (born this way, God love her) I looked for this forum today as I want to learn more and interact with others dealing with parenting issues Top Tip: Children grow into adults who will challenge you on your past parenting - and that is ok, as we teach them to be accountable so are we. Weekends are made for replenishing the soul with sport, social gatherings and time out on a blanket on the lawn with your kids.
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I wonder if you have considered breaking down the things she does that are not working right now for her or you. Just suggesting a meeting with her that is structure around:- 1. What she has planned for herself to enable her to move out without putting herself at risk e.g. homelessness 2. How she can achieve that goal by looking at what options are open to her 3. Looking at the reality of her options 4. Looking at the commitment she has to carrying out those options. The key is to let her do all the talking allowing her to speak and hear herself. The main action you must do is never answer any of the questions for her *zip your lips :-) It's the hardest thing you will ever do, trust me as I am still trying to perfect this. For what it is worth - the fact that she is in your house gives you hope that change might happen with a conversation. To get her to the table - remind her that you have the power to change the locks ;-) My daughter is 22 but behaves like a 19 yr old (she was born behaving younger than her true age). I've learnt not to threat but to consult with facts and ownership of her own behaviour and mine.
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