Hi @missymoo13 , welcome to the ReachOut community! It takes strength to reach out for support, and your willingness to connect here shows just how resilient you are as a parent. It's clear that you care deeply about your children and their well-being.  I’m really sorry to hear about the challenges you and your family have faced and are currently facing. Dealing with family violence and the subsequent impacts on your children sounds incredibly painful and overwhelming, and I wanted to acknowledge your courage in facing such difficult circumstances. It's understandable to feel let down by systems that were meant to protect your family. Your commitment to self-care amidst these circumstances is admirable. Taking care of yourself, no matter how small the gesture, is crucial during tough times. Your tip for parents navigating the teenage years is insightful and reflective of your understanding of the importance of giving teens the space to grow and discover themselves. It can be really important to strike that balance between offering support and granting independence.  I encourage you to create your own thread here to share more about your journey and to connect with other parents who may be going through similar challenges. And I wish you all the luck in finding connection and support within the ReachOut community ... View more

Hi @Daynada05,   Sorry to hear that you are having such a rough time with your girls. This must be so painful to see your ex's manipulation working on your girls. I can imagine how hard it must be to want to speak to your girls and them not giving you a chance to explain. This can be a tricky situation to explain to them if they are not open to listening to you. If they are open to listen to you then it might be worthwhile to explain to them very logically what had happened. Then follow on by letting them know from your heart space how much all your children mean to you, thus not wanting any of them to get hurt. It can be difficult to have these talks when they are getting confusing messages from one parent. I am also wondering if you believe that your girls are safe being with their father. You mentioned that the oldest lives with her father do the other girls as well? If the girls are unsafe are you comfortable enough to contact Child Protection? The girls and your ex may not be happy with this as supports may be put in place, however if you believe they are unsafe it might help them in the long run. Does he still get drunk while they are around and is it often? Are there any other behaviours of his that may be affecting your children on the emotional or mental level? Do you think you and your girls could work with a family therapist who can help you resolve this conflict among you? This might be helpful as it will be mediated by a neutral party. Is it possible for you and your daughters to go out and have a girl’s day out, start off by having a bit of fun and then gently discuss the topic? Is there another family member that the girls like being around that could help support an outing with you and them? It might help the interactions with all of you and might make the conversation go smoothly. Do you think any of these suggestions would work for you? ... View more

Thanks for your kind words, she came home mentally drained but in good spirits and went camping with her dad for the weekend ... View more