Wow, you have the big one, don't you? I stood in your shoes a couple of years ago when I accidentally discovered a "good bye" note from my teen daughter. I can't stand the "S" word, but that's what it was, like a will and individual best wishes to her family and friends by name.
I totally mismanaged the situation I'm sorry to say, I went straight out and called the psychologist who was treating her for anxiety and stress related problems but I simply failed to even mention my fears, no terror, to Miss 16, as she was then, herself. All I could think of was that my baby wanted to harm herself, panic! She had a psych appointment two days later and it all came out there when I was invited into the session and Missy freaked that a) I knew about it, b) that I never said a word and c) that I was treating her like a baby. At this interview she admitted to self harm "for a long time" and when I raised an eyebrow she pulled her skirt up high to show the scars, old and new, to the psych and me.
Our relationship has recovered from this major damage and she no longer self harms, not does she want to she tells me.
The point of my story, Moonlight, is to make you feel that you have company on this site who have been in your shoes and felt the awful loneliness that you feel when this stuff happens to your child. I'm certain that here you have a sympathetic, understanding collection of ready to listen ears and hopefully some good advice.
My advice is, as always, offer your daughter unconditional love and tell her out loud that you love her more any words can convey. My daughter told me recently that this declaration of love, which she tested a few times, actually made her feel much, much better and helped the psych aid her as she regained her feelings of self worth. Still a work in progress but at least we are on the way and can all see progress. Hang in there, don't accept any backsliding or difficulties as defeat but rather as a part of the healing process I suggest. Good luck.
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