Hi @Star14,   Sounds like a really tricky situation and I can see why you are struggling.  When  you and your partner have had a chance to talk things through, it might be worth you both agreeing on some ground rules that you and he would be happy with.  When you are agreed, maybe you could sit down with his sister and explain that while you are pleased to have her staying with you, she needs to understand that every house needs to have some order.  Take the time to make sure she knows she is welcome and loved and that you are there for her, but every relationship, whatever dynamic it is, has to have some give and take.   During the discussion, you could ask her for her thoughts on what she thinks would be acceptable while she is staying with you and make sure that you listen to her views as well.  Hopefully, together you will be able to reach a point where the arrangement works for you all.   Keep us posted and really hoping that everything works out for you. Take care xx ... View more

Thank you @sunflowermom,  Time and patience is something I am going to have to learn, as a parent, we just want to be able to fix everything and I'm not used to not being able to make it better. It's something I am getting my head around slowly, so I am learning as I go.  Finding you all here has been a life line in the last day or so, as I was starting to despair - felt like every door I was pushing was just slamming back in my face. Thank you. x ... View more

Thank you @Happy for your reply.     You seem to echo some of the thoughts that I have had regarding him feeling like he doesn't fit in.  He has always seemed to try so hard and although his friendship group has always seemed to be a lovely group of lads, he seems to have had this need to prove something either to them or himself. Having recently moved into college, I have wondered if this has been the catalyst to the way he is feeling, as his friendship group has started moving in different directions and all of a sudden he is thrown into a new environment with a lot of people he doesn't know.  I wonder if he feels that he is a little lost.  I have asked him about it but he doesn't seem to think it is a problem, but I'm not so sure.   I love the idea of a mentor and will certainly give it some thought.  I think sometimes Mum and Dad just don't cut it!  He is certainly a lover of his food and has joined us recently on a few occasions, but the conversation has been very light hearted as I think my husband and I are worried about 'scaring him off'.  I don't want him to think that every time he comes out of his room, we are going to be asking questions or wanting him to tell us his inner most thoughts.   Although that would certainly not be the case, his perception can be different.  There's a huge gap between what we say and what they hear, so I do feel like I'm walking on egg shells a little.   Thank you again for your time. x ... View more

Thank you @gina-Ro for tagging the other parents that you did, the responses that I have received so far have been a comfort and a help.  So glad I found this forum. x ... View more

Hi @Taylor-RO,   Thank you for taking the time to read my post and respond.   There are a few online services that we have been offered, but to date, he is just as reluctant to use them as he is to talk to someone face to face.    Currently we don't have any official support for us, one of the reasons I sought out a forum like this.  We are 'in the system' with a Mental Health service, but their wheels turn very slowly and they are yet to send their report to our doctor over a week after his attempt.   Although I was unable to get him out of bed before 4 pm today, he did open up a little more to me today and was able to attempt to describe a little of how he is feeling.  He has agreed to visit the doctor on Monday with me and from what he has told me today, I am hopeful that we may be making baby steps towards helping him understand how he can deal with and overcome some of these feelings.   Having said that, just when I think we are making progress, it seems to be one step forward and three steps backwards.   Thank you so much for you kind words, they mean so much to me at this time and it is comforting to know that we are not alone in this.   ... View more

Hi, Thank you so much for your reply and sharing your experience with me.  I understand what you mean about finding the right person for him - my biggest hurdle at the moment is trying to get him to agree to a) talk to anyone in a professional capacity and b) get him out of the house.  He recently had an orthodontist appointment which we had to cancel as I can not even convince him to get up and out of the house.  I know that we are in the early stages at the moment and I trust that time will help, but I really feel like we are stuck in a loop at the moment and I am floundering as to how to break the cycle.  If he is not prepared or mentally ready to start helping himself, there seems to be only so much that we can do. However, I am concerned that the longer this goes on in this manner, we will be stuck in this cycle. It's all very confusing.   Thank you for taking time for me, I really appreciate it. x ... View more