Teens, suicide, life

[Lilly19]

I am exhausted with this topic, anxious and depression are on the back burner whilst we deal with the realities of our teens..

My girl almost 16, 6 months ago stopped going to school A grade student, winning school awards etc. Became an E grade in some subjects. However, her outside life was still strong and exciting with cadets and work. Lots of time out with friends etc.

She had been working with headspace and the school psych everyday to try and stay alive. We finally got a GP to agree to meds. It was the worst time for us. No sign of suicide ever, the drug was sending her crazy I tried to get her off it but for whatever reason I couldn't. We had 3 months of this and the anxiety that had her totally spiral. 

As a medical professional working with teens MH I forgot everything and panicked. I rang 5 agencies within an hour to get her help. Did she have a plan? Well no. When she has one come in. I shrugged my shoulders and tried to think rationally. I got her into a GP within a few hours who showed no interest whatsoever. I don't take no for an answer my girl was sitting there beside her crying. Maybe shock I did not fight the system.

We are 6 months in. Both under control until school started.

She came home everything in control but as the weeks pass we are back in the land of depression anxiety and now a plan. I haven't really worried about it until the plan was verbalised.

She is sleeping with me, she doesn't like me out of her sight - I have spent so much time at school I should apply for a **bleep** job there..

We do things together for distraction make sure she isn't in her room, have long conversations and I think what should I be thinking should I take her to ED.. I know that suicide ideology is rather normal and a fleeting consistent thought for our kids who can only think emotionally but I am confused as a parent and a professional.. When she is so bad I can manage to break that pattern otherwise I would have her in ED straight away for presentation..

The issue started at school she was bullied by a teacher - that has been resolved to a point. Education Dept is involved etc.  She now hates everything, school, work, cadets which has been her life.

She talks with her friends consistently making plans for the future, the psychs and myself.

It actually irritates me right now to be honest, my empathy is running low and I wish she would just get over it. Rationally I know otherwise..

She is also a twin, her twin (T2) has autism, adhd and a few other medical diagnosis. I have been going through this behaviour for the past 11 yrs with her and it has been easy to manage and still is. Am I missing something??

Maybe I am just looking for support, getting it off my chest, I don't know but plenty of us are going through it - I know I am not alone by any means.

[TOM-RO]

Hey @Lilly19 

Thanks for sharing your story on the ReachOut Forums. I'm sure many other parents will find discussions like this helpful.  

It seems like your going through a difficult time with your daughter. It sounds like she's really struggling with things at the moment. It's horrible to think she was bullied by a teacher. It also sounds like you're fairly worn out by it all, which is OK, you are allowed to feel that way. Constantly caring for or worrying about somebody else can be exhausting. So try to remember to take some time for yourself if possible. 

I think it's really good that you are able to manage her on your own, without needing to take her to the ED. Your medical training would definitely come in handy in that regard, and I'm sure she appreciates having a parent like yourself caring for her. It sounds so lovely that you spend time with her and try to distract her. 

I see you tried accessing MH support for your daughter. How'd you go with that? Is she seeing a mental health professional at the moment? 

[waldo_pepper]

Oh boy Lilly19, You're doing it tough.

Just like most of us I guess you think that you're the only parent this ever happened to. Well, it's not so. You have friends here.

I know that this makes little difference to your hurting right now, just remember that when you reach out most of us have stood in your shoes.

Unfortunately I have no magic bullets. My sub teen is now a very happy member of society and, at 22 yo, is pursuing a career in law. He was discussing the hows and whys of major self harm. Yes, dad was totally freaked out. There is hope! My son was under the care of a psychiatrist for many years, still consults on an as and when basis, but has weaned off his meds and is living life.

My only way to help him was give unconditional love. Simple to say, very tough to do. Regardless of the hurts, grit your teeth and offer love. That's the only thing that will work IMHO. Your child is so very lost right now, be the anchor in their life.

Good luck!!

[gina-Ro]

@waldo_pepper  thank you so much for coming and sharing your story of hope with your son. It is so amazing to hear from parents who have seen their teens through the darkest years into a bright adult-hood. 

@Lilly19  our hearts go out to you - and we really hope you are having some good days in amongst everything. 

Remember to keep looking after yourself and accessing your support network for your own wellbeing too. 

 

We have a discussion over here about hope if either of you would like to contributes and read other parents input.