Hi @sunshine51 ,    Thanks so much for updating us on how you're going with your daughter. It's great that she was able to open up to you, and that you're getting her checked out by the doctor. Those things can be so embarrassing for teens, especially at that age, and it's great that she's going to get it looked in to. Hopefully there's a straight forward solution for her :)    You sound like a really switched on and caring mum, she's lucky to have you.  ... View more

Hi there @Seraphim  - I noticed that you posted this in the Ask A Family Professional part of the forum, so I've also copied your question into the google form above so that it will go to our amazing partners at the Benevolent Society, who post our Family Pro posts. I hope that's okay - keep an eye out  in coming weeks for a response :)  ... View more

Hi @Fleurry ,    I just wanted to check in and see how you are doing with your son, I was just catching up on this thread. It sounds like you have both had a huge amount to deal with and some really complex problems, especially given the added factor of your son having possible cognitive and memory issues from his leukaemia treatment.    You mentioned earlier that he's at his happiest when he's on his computer with his mates, and that he also loves gaming and digital design. It's great that he does have those passions and has a social outlet and support network online, but I also hear your concerns that he's not getting out much and enjoying the world. Does he have any friends that also enjoy tinkering in the shed?    It sounds like your son went through a really traumatic time at his old school, and school refusal is a problem that isn't uncommon, especially when there's been a history of bullying. It sounds like the new school are pretty on board with trying to help your son get back to attending school , how is that going at the moment?    I came across this resource on school refusal which links in to some different services, which I thought may be helpful for you?    We also have a page on ReachOut parents which includes videos from people who've been through the same thing, talking about what's worked for them.    Thinking of you, please keep us updated on how you're going. It sounds like it has been a really rocky road for your son, and he's lucky to have such a switched on, caring and committed mum in his corner. I hope this term is a better one for you all.  ... View more

Hey there @Parent007  and @dylan_dadof2 ,   I just thought I'd quickly share another really great resource for this, it's actually one that ReachOut host in partnership with the Benevolent Society, and it's a one on one coaching service that is available free to any parent or carer in Australia.    It's free, confidential and it's available either online or over the telephone, so it can be done at a time that suits you and there's not those barriers of trying to get to appointments etc.    Here's the link, feel free to pass it on to anyone who may be interested!    I have to say, speaking as a parent myself, I'm so glad that services like these are starting to become more popular. Parenting is absolutely one of the toughest, yet most rewarding, things I've ever done, and I do really believe it takes a village to raise a child. So I'm really happy to see services like these starting to spring up for when parents need another virtual 'village' to lean on.    Cheers,    Janine      ... View more

Hi @Thereshopeyet ,    Welcome to the ReachOut parents forums, and thanks so much for sharing  a bit about what's going on for your daughter at the moment. I also just wanted to let you know I've moved your post to its own thread, just so it can get the most support from the community :)    You sound like an amazing mum, and it sounds like you've seen your daughter through some really tough times. As someone who spent several years as a sole parent myself , I can really empathise with how heavy a load that you must have been carrying, juggling working in a demanding field and helping your daughter through some tough times with anxiety, depression and an eating disorder. I can hear your exhaustion and frustration, you sound like you have been an amazing support for your daughter and I can completely understand feeling like the workload at work and home is becoming unbearable.    The period of recovery from serious mental illness can be a difficult one. It sounds like it's been difficult to re-establish reasonable boundaries and house rules with your daughter, is that right? It sounds like she's doing much better, so I think it's completely reasonable for your daughter to start to step up in terms of her contributions to the household, looking for work, and generally contributing as a fellow adult in your household.    We have a resource here that i thought may be helpful in starting some of those conversations around setting boundaries with your teenager   There's also quite a lot of really practical advice (I suspect you may be familiar with a lot of this already!) about how to actively encourage good behaviour. Encouraging good behaviour teens    I am also wondering if your daughter might benefit from some practical support in helping her join the workforce, if that's what her goal is at the moment? Community mental health centres and specialist job seeking agencies for people living with , or in recovery from,  mental illness can offer practical help for her to re-join the workforce. Has she been connected with any services like these before?    It also sounds like you are, quite rightly, pretty exhausted. I'm wondering if you're able to make some time to do something nice for yourself, or speak to a counsellor if you think some extra support for yourself might be helpful? It can be easy to put ourselves last at times like this I know, but you are also important and deserve support and care.      Please keep us posted on how you're going, thanks again for joining the community here :)  ... View more

Hi @spiderman6 ,    Welcome to the ReachOut Parents community forums, it's really nice to have you here.    You're right when you say there's a huge amount of different views about teenagers and drinking alcohol. It's great that you and your daughter have an open and honest relationship and that she feels safe telling you what she's been up to.    This page has a lot of evidence-based information about how to deal with risky behaviour in teens, along with some ideas of how to talk to your teen about setting acceptable boundaries, and most importantly staying safe. Though it is really common, it's also important to remember that alcohol use does carry a lot of risks for teens, both in terms of the damage that can occur to their body if they drink too much, and risks that come from having lowered inhibitions and taking place in other high risk activities when affected by alcohol. The second page I've linked to also has a lot of information about why teens drink, and how to set reasonable boundaries with them around them drinking if it doesn't seem likely that they will abstain altogether.     Risky Behaviour in teens  Alcohol use and teenagers    I hope you find the information here helpful - this is a really common concern for parents of teenagers, and it's fantastic that you have a strong relationship with your daughter where she's been honest with you around what's happening.    I'm also going to tag in a few of our parent community members - you're definitely not alone in questioning how you're going to deal with teenagers drinking and hopefully some more input from other parents can be helpful too :)    @Dadof4kids  @compassion  @sunflowermom  ... View more

Hi @stolen ,    It does sound like an incredibly complex situation, and I'm so sorry that the DCP and police haven't been able to provide any easy solutions for you and your family.    We're really glad that venting here helped a bit, feel free to come back any time, we are here if you need support or just somewhere to vent to. Thinking of you and your family.  ... View more

Hi @Lanny81 ,    It sounds like such an incredibly challenging time for you as a parent, seeing your child in a relationship that you can clearly see is unhealthy, but also having to respect the fact that she is an adult. You sound like such a switched on, and caring parent. I'm sure that in the long term that will serve you and your daughter well.    I just thought I would link you to a few resources that we have about recognising signs of an abusive relationship, and helping teens to set healthy boundaries in their own relationships. Even if your daughter isn't ready to read those things now, I thought they may be helpful resources for you guys to have- unfortunately unhealthy relationships aren't uncommon, and a lot of other parents have been where you are at the moment.    Signs of an abusive relationship    help your teenager to develop boundaries    It sounds like you and your daughter have a strong relationship, which is something that should be really protective for her. I'm also wondering if you're getting some support for yourselves at the moment? It must be an incredibly stressful time for you as parents.      ... View more

Hi @stolen ,    I'm so sorry to hear that the police and the DCP weren't able to help you in this situation . I can't imagine how frustrating it must be for you to feel powerless and I can hear your concern for your son in your words.    I am wondering if you've been able to be in contact with your son at all while he's living there? In amongst all of this, having him know that you are still there, still love him, and will welcome him back if and when he decides to do that, is important.     I'm also wondering, is your son still attending school? Are they aware of the situation?    As a parent myself, I can't imagine the toll this must be taking on you. Have you been able to get any support for yourself during all of this?    ... View more

Hi @WorriedAuntie ,    Thanks so much for posting here with your concerns about your niece, I hope the community can be a helpful space for you.    I can hear your concern for your niece in your words, and I can understand why you and her grandfather would be concerned about who she's taking to online, especially when he's found some concerning messages. It can be really tricky teaching teenagers to navigate the online world safely. It sounds like her grandfather has been really proactive in talking to her about some of the pitfalls and dangers of interacting with people, especially people she doesn't know well, online. That's really excellent.    This link has a lot of resources and information about risk-taking in teenagers, including online behaviour, and has some great ideas and videos that might be helpful.    There's also some really great tips about online safety here from our ReachOut Parents page.    I hear your concerns about her being  obsessed with male attention  - teaching our kids about their self-worth, consent, and being respected in their relationships is really important. It can be really hard in the teenage years though, especially when a lot of people do crave attention from the opposite sex.    I'm wondering, have you had any conversations with her about what healthy relationships look like, or about how to set her own boundaries in her relationships with boys?    I'm also going to tag in a few of our active parents community members who may have been through similar with their teens @compassion  @Faob_1  @Dadof4kids    It looks like you're in Canada, is that right? I came across this service which might also be helpful, if you'd like to chat over these issues with someone.       Thanks so much for posting here, and please keep us posted on how your niece is getting on :)  ... View more

Hi @Veronica ,    I've just been catching up on this thread, my heart really goes out to you. Feeling unappreciated by your family along with everything else that you have on your plate sounds really exhausting, especially if you're not feeling supported by your husband.    I'm wondering if you ever get any time to do things that are just for you? I have friends in similar situations who've joined book clubs, or community choirs, or taken up running - something that is just for them, and also gets them out of the house occasionally and lets their family fend for themselves! One piece of advice I was given early in my time as a parent was "put your own oxygen mask on first" - when we catch a plane, we're told to put our own masks on before we put them on our children if there's an emergency, because we can't help them if we haven't already been able to help ourselves. Yet as parents, it can be so easy to put our own needs last.    @sidneysdad  's  post also gave me a lot to think about - I think that making time to recharge our own batteries is so important. @sidneysdad  I'm really sorry to hear about your marriage breakdown, that is really hard. It was really wonderful to read that you've found being on the forums helpful - you are always really generous with your time and sharing your experiences, and we really appreciate it. It's great to hear that reading and replying has helped you in your own life :)  ... View more

Hey @sidneysdad ,    Thanks for sharing what you've found useful with your son and your experiences. It sounds like you're such a caring and engaged parent.    I think your advice about finding the right psychologist for your child is also spot on - having someone who they 'click' with is absolutely vital to the whole therapeutic process, and what works for one kid may not work for another. I also have a child who's struggled at times with high anxiety,  and sometimes it has felt like a lot of baby steps, but looking back I can really see how far she's come.    Does your son enjoy school overall?    I think a true parenting for dummies book would probably make billions of dollars ! But to be honest, I also think that parenting strategies can be so highly individual, and what works for one child may not work for another - which is probably why so many books continue to be written!    I do find some of the material on the ReachOut Parents page really helpful, and the Raising Children Website has been really helpful for myself with slightly younger kids - I have the preteen page bookmarked at the moment !    But I also learn so much from other parents, and I wanted to say thanks so much to you for all of the advice and support that you provide to our community :)    @jbrowne  please keep us posted with how you're going with your son - it sounds like seeing  a psychologist will be a really positive step for you all. It's so hard when we're worried about our kids :( I know several people who have ended up moving their kids to a different school, and though it's not a simple fix, in some cases I think that having a child in an environment/ peer group that's a better fit for them can be a really good move :)  ... View more

Hi @Poppy4105 , and welcome to the ReachOut parents community.    I think that's a really interesting question.    I know that different parents take different approaches depending on their situation, and on how much their young adult kids at home are earning themselves. More and more young adult kids are now living at home, and a lot of parents think it is absolutely reasonable for their adult children to contribute financially to the running of the household, or buy groceries, or cook meals, for example.    Is your daughter working at the moment, or studying, or a combination? It's hard to give an exact amount as that really depends on your circumstances and expenses. But I think it's a really good question, and by asking her to contribute to some expenses (or at least considering it) you can also help to teach her skills in financial literacy like budgeting and knowing how much life costs - which is an important part of becoming an adult!    I'll tag in a few parent community members here for their input too :) , @Dadof4kids , @sidneysdad , @compassion , @Faob_1  ... View more

Hi @Ellewantshelp ,    That sounds like an incredibly frustrating and heartbreaking situation for you to watch unfold, it is very hard when somebody refuses to get help. Sadly it's not uncommon for people to resist getting help.    It looks like you're in the USA, is that correct? Is the child attending school at the moment? Sometimes school counsellors, if they have one, can be a really good way for people to access different support services. Does she also display this kind of behaviour at school?  I know it can be more difficult to access support services when you live rurally, but sometimes counsellors and other therapists do visits at schools. Do you think this is something that might be possible for them?  ... View more

Hi @Bungarra ,    Thanks so much for posting here - the HSC can be an absolutely massive year both for kids and for their parents, and you're definitely not alone in feeling worried, and wanting to help your child find the best strategies to help them through the year.    ReachOut have actually put together quite a lot of resources on coping with exam stress, time management, and shared stories from other young people about what's worked for them, I've linked to the main page above, and there's also a page here  which has some great, evidence based suggestions as well as apps that your son may find helpful      Like you say, breaking down big goals into smaller, achievable steps is a big part of studying successfully, and can also help us to feel less out of control overall.    It's also really important to schedule in time for enjoyable activities like seeing friends, or sport, or exercise - as you say, it isn't great if he is feeling like every spare minute has to be dedicated to school . The resources I've linked to above have lots of ideas about time management and goal setting, but if his worry is starting to affect his enjoyment of life, it could also be a good idea to look at some professional help. Do you think he would be open to having a chat with your GP to get a mental health plan, or visiting headspace? Both are affordable and accessible options for kids to find extra support and build the skills to help them to manage stress successfully.    You sound like a really wonderful parent who cares about your son's mental wellbeing, which is so important - and I'm sure with you on his side he will be able to get through the year ahead.  ... View more

Hi @Maine127 ,    I've just been catching up on this post, thanks for posting to the community here :)    I think you're probably right when you say that this is only the beginning - watching our teens starting to navigate romantic relationships is another really big shift in parenting. I just thought I'd share a few resources from our ReachOut parents page in case they're helpful to you - there's one that I really like about helping your teenager to develop healthy boundaries in romantic relationships . I think it's totally fine for you and your family to have discussions with her around your boundaries, as well as have an open chat with her around her own boundaries - the article goes into a lot of different types of boundaries, and has some really good ideas for how to start those conversations.    "Ask your teenager to think about what they are comfortable with in a romantic relationship. Not just in terms of sex, but also in terms of how independent they want to be, displays of affection, what they would want to share with a partner. Give them some examples."   There's also a fact sheet on teens and romantic relationships that I thought might be useful.    As you say, it's not great for anyone if other people are feeling uncomfortable when they're around them, it's a really common experience when hormones are flying though!    I hope that some of the materials I shared might help a bit, thanks so much for posting here and please keep us posted with how you're getting on :)  ... View more

Welcome to the Community Champions team @sidneysdad , I've changed your status over today. Thanks again for all of the fantastic support you've been giving. You'll now have access to the Parents Community Champion boards, so you can have a look around there :)  ... View more

Hey @sidneysdad ,    Just a quick note to let you know I made a small edit to your post - just in case it could be upsetting or triggering for other users.    Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, and I think your advice about seeing a psychologist under a mental health plan is a really excellent one :)  I think that parenting, especially parenting young kids, can be a really stressful time in a lot of people's relationships, and working with a professional to communicate with each other through these challenges and strengthen that relationship is a really great idea.    Thanks so much again for all the amazing advice and support you give here . ... View more

Hi @thomaswomas ,    Just catching up on this post, and I can really relate to a lot of what you're saying. I'm also the parent of a toddler, and dealing with challenging behaviours is definitely one of the most challenging parts of this (also delightful!) stage.    I'm hearing from you that you don't feel like your wife and yourself are on the same page when it comes to approaches to discipline, is that right? It's a really common experience for parents of young kids, especially if you have different family backgrounds, expectations of acceptable behaviour or parenting styles.    i have found the resources on the raising children website to be really useful for different ideas for behaviour management, and I thought I'd just share this link here in case you find it helpful , it's full of different articles and ideas on toddler behaviour and common challenges.    One thing I've found helpful is to try and discuss general boundaries and parenting decisions with my partner at a time when we're both calm, and child free -it can be really hard to have those discussions in the heat of the moment, with a screaming 2.5 year old!   I hear you say that you feel like your wife doesn't trust your parenting decisions, and you feel like her PA - that must be really painful and upsetting as a husband and dad. Do you think talking about these feelings with her could be helpful?  ... View more

Hi @Maggiecoco ,    It must be incredibly concerning as parents to see your son going through this, especially when it's been a relatively recent and sudden change. From what you've said, it sounds like he's a good kid with a lot of skills and interests - is he still playing any sports?    You mentioned that he'd had an admission to Emergency with a a Xanax overdose, I'm just wondering if he was linked in with any drug and alcohol support services when he was there? As you say, it's really difficult to convince people to seek help when they don't think they need it, or don't want to engage with counsellors, but there's a lot of support services that you can access through local area health services (I've linked an example here https://sydneynorthhealthnetwork.org.au/mentalhealthtriage/alcohol-and-other-drugs/)   It's great that he has ambitions for future training and going to TAFE, and hopefully that can be a motivating factor for him to change his behaviour - do you know anyone who's already in that line of work? I am wondering if having someone else to talk about his future interests could be helpful at all, and give him a bit of motivation to get back to school so that he can enter TAFE when he's old enough .    I can't imagine how frustrating and worrying this situation must be for you and your family- I hope that things improve for you all soon.      ... View more

Hi @Stacey1982 ,    Welcome to the ReachOut Parents community, and thanks so much for sharing your story here.    You are definitely not alone - starting a new relationship with someone when you are already a parent, and navigating the new boundaries, and how you both want to co-parent together, is a huge challenge, and represents a real shift in your relationship with your partner. You sound like a really thoughtful and caring person and a dedicated mum, and I can really relate a lot to so much that you've posted here - I was also a sole parent for many years and lived in a one parent household with my child, before meeting my new partner 4 years later.    ReachOut have a resource that I really liked about becoming a step parent that I thought I'd share here, I honestly wish I had read it when we first went through it! While it's written for the new step-parent, I think it's a great read for both people.    You say that you're worried  that you've rushed into things, and I'm wondering if you're feeling like your partner is stepping into a parental role too quickly? My personal experience was that it took quite awhile for us to feel like real co-parents, both my child and myself needed it to be a fairly slow transition. What that looked like for us initially was organising activities like going to the park, the beach, and having fun activities together, and sometimes just the two of them, so they could build up a connection.   As far as discipline and house rules, while it's important to have an open discussion with your partner about boundaries and acceptable behaviour at home, it can also be confusing for kids if a new partner immediately wants to introduce a lot of new rules. So we didn't change 'house rules' immediately. However, things like not going through your partner's personal possessions may be a boundary that you both agree needs to be followed straight away.    From what you've written, it sounds like navigating boundaries is something you're finding difficult - and that is totally understandable. It's a big transition for you, your partner and your daughter.  Sometimes, families can find it helpful to chat with a professional as they navigate these transitions - Relationships Australia offer low priced counselling, do you think this is something the two of you might find helpful?  There's also a free one: one parents coaching  service available for all parents and carers of kids in Australia through our website here, if you think you'd like to chat through these issues some more.    I'm also just going to tag in a few of our active parents community members here, there's a lot of parents with a wealth of different experiences who may have more advice to add :) @sidneysdad  @Dadof4kids  @compassion  @Faob_1            ... View more

Hi @CBlovesherboy ,    Welcome to the ReachOut Parents Community, and thanks so much for sharing a bit about what's going on with your son. It sounds like it's been a pretty challenging time for both you as parents, and your son. It must have been really disappointing to have your son come home high, when you thought that his friend had stopped using cannabis. I hope you don't mind, but I'm also going to tag in two of our community members @Keddie  and @Maggiecoco , who have also recently posted about their teens and cannabis use.    I can hear your uncertainty about banning your child from seeing his friend, and to be honest I suspect that your instincts may be right - if this boy is your son's best friend from primary school, and you say he's one of his 2 really close mates, then I imagine that not being able to see him at all could be a really big loss for your son. And as you say, sometimes when we ban things entirely, it can make those things seem more attractive.    I'm wondering if engaging your son and this friend in a supervised activity that can't involve substance use could be a middle ground? Does your son have any interests like sports, or hiking, or gaming that he enjoys?    ReachOut Parents page also has quite a few resources that have been written in consultation with experts as well as parents who've been through it, and there's two articles in particular that I thought might be useful for you - promoting positive risk taking   with teenagers, and and risk taking and teenagers . Peer pressure and risk taking with teenagers can often go hand in hand, and there's some good ideas in these articles about ways to encourage risk taking in safe environments.    You sound like a really caring parent who's been able to communicate really well about boundaries, and explained to your son the reason behind your decisions - hopefully other members of the parents community can share their perspectives and experiences too. Thanks so much for posting here - how are you coping with it all? Parenting teenagers definitely isn't for the faint hearted :) ... View more

Hi @Maggiecoco and @Keddie ,    I'm so sorry to hear that you're both going through similar experiences with your sons and their cannabis use.  @Maggiecoco  I can imagine that it must be intensely frustrating as a parent when you can see your child in trouble, but they refuse to accept help, and you can see that their behaviour is causing harm.  I'm not sure if you've seen the articles on the ReachOut parents page, but I just thought I would share this one on teenagers and risk-taking, there's also quite a few resources on drug abuse that may also be be helpful. Basically, teenager's brains are still in the process of developing, and in  a way they are wired to take risks, and seek out approval from their friends rather than their parents. This can make these years really hard to navigate, especially if they're experimenting with drugs in a way that's causing harm, like your son's is.    Your local community mental health service could be a good place to start to get advice on drug and alcohol misuse, you can self-refer to those services.    You say your son doesn't see a problem, have you talked to him about the consequences of missing school, and sleeping in parks? Does he have any hobbies that he enjoys, or ambitions for any further training or work he would like to do when he leaves school?    Thanks so much for reaching out here, I hope that the community here can be a good support for you. It's great that your wife has seen a psychologist, it can take a huge toll on us as parents when our kids are having a difficult time, and it's excellent that she is seeking support. You sound like great parents.  ... View more

Hi @HoosierBoiler ,    Thanks so much for your post -  I think you raise a really interesting issue here, and I hope you don't mind but I'm also just tagging in a few of our active members with teenage kids, who may be able to speak more directly to this from their personal experiences with their kids @compassion , @Dadof4kids , @JAKGR8 , @Faob_1 .    I think you are absolutely spot on, and that part of talking to our teens about respectful relationships also needs to include how to sensitively communicate to people when they think that they may not have the same level of interest as someone else, or if they want to move on from a romantic relationship.    From what you've written here, it sounds like the relationship between your teen son and his girlfriend is still in that grey area between a friendship, and a romantic relationship, is that right?    Our ReachOut Parents site has a resource that I thought you may find helpful,  on helping teenagers to navigate and form respectful relationships, which I've linked to here for you. I think it's excellent that you're thinking about how to help your son build these skills, forming healthy relationships can be such a huge part of the teenage years.    Do you think his girlfriend is wanting more from the relationship than he is at the moment?    ... View more

Hi @bulldog332 ,    Thanks so much for your reply- and I'm so sorry - I should have written caring and sensitive parent, and will edit my response!!     It's good to hear that your son has found professional support helpful in the past, hopefully seeing someone else now can give him the extra support he needs and help him build up that toolkit of coping skills. Starting year 7 is a huge adjustment, especially when you don't know anyone, and hopefully having that extra support can be a really positive thing for him.    That's great that he has his music, does his high school have a band or other extra-curricular music activities that he can get involved in? Those programs can be a great place for kids to find "their tribe", and will hopefully be an excellent outlet for your son. It's great that you've been able to touch base with your son's homeroom teacher too. It sounds like you're covering all of the bases to make sure he is well supported :)    Thanks so much your message, and please keep us posted on how your son gets on.  ... View more

Hi @bulldog332 ,    Thanks so much for posting here, I hope the community here can be a helpful place for you. A lot of other parents (myself included) are parents to kids with anxiety, so you are absolutely not alone. You sound like you have a lot of empathy for your son, it is really hard to see our kids having a tough time.    You mention that he seems anxious, doesn't want to speak to other kids, and is lonely - the transition to high school can be a really challenging time, especially for kids who are prone to some social anxiety.    ReachOut have quite a few resources on helping teen kids who are struggling with anxiety, which I'm linking to here in case they are helpful for you.  If the feelings that he's having have persisted for more than two weeks and are interfering with his ability to enjoy life, it might be a good idea for him to talk to a professional, do you think he would be open to this?   You mention contacting his school, and that could be another good starting point for you, as most schools should have access to a school psychologist or counsellor who can help him confidentially.  I don't think it's too early to contact them, I know that schools often value parents being proactive, and if he can get some help earlier rather than later, it could help make the transition to a new school a more positive one for him.    Depending on where you are, organisations like headspace can also offer help for kids who are experiencing anxiety - the teen years are often a time when anxiety first becomes apparent, but the good news is that there are a lot of different types of help available out there. headspace offer free mental health support for youth aged 12-25.    Another option is programs like Cool Kids, which started at Macquarie Uni but is now run by other psychologists in other locations, which is a great, evidence based program which includes group programs for kids with anxiety .    I'm also wondering if there's anything outside of school that your son enjoys, like music, or sports?    You sound a caring and sensitive parent, I hope that your son starts to settle in to school soon, please keep us updated on how you are both going. I'm also tagging in a few more members of our parent community here, who may be able to offer some of their experiences @compassion , @sunflowermom , @JAKGR8 , @Dadof4kids      ... View more

Hi @Seeker ,    I just wanted to check in and echo what @Taylor-RO  has said - I'm so sorry to hear that things haven't worked out as you may have hoped. It sounds like you did exactly what you needed to do in terms of keeping appropriate boundaries and keeping yourself safe, I imagine it must have been a very stressful time for you. It's incredibly hard when somebody that we love behaves in a way that means that we have to detatch for our own safety. It sounds like you have been a really important person in his life, and I hope that in the longer term he is able to make the changes that he needs to make in his life.    Wishing you all the very best, it's great that you've been able to see your therapist to help you through what sounds like a really tough time.  ... View more

Hi @annoyedmumma  and @sidneysdad ,   @annoyedmumma  thanks for checking back in with us, it sounds like it's been a really tough journey for you.  From what you've said, it sounds like you made the right decision reporting to child protection, as you say it does at least mean that there's a paper trail.    It must be very challenging to be worried about your child's safety, and I know how stressful going through famliy court proceedings can be. Are you able to find time for some self-care for yourself, or chat to a professional if you feel like it would help you?    @sidneysdad  thank you for sharing your experiences, it sounds like you've ultimately been able to  come up with an arrangement that works for you, your ex, and your child, which I think is a pretty amazing achievement. It can be incredibly hard to navigate joint custody situations, but it sounds like you have your child's best needs at heart, and it's great to hear from another parent who's been in a similar situation.        ... View more

Hi @melinee ,    Thanks so much for the reply, I'm glad the information was helpful for you :)    The traineeship sounds like a really positive thing for your son - hopefully it will be a great opportunity for him, and like you say, give him something positive to focus on (as well as keep him busy, which can be helpful!). Communicating over text can sometimes be a great way to broach those tricky topics with teens - it gives them a safe space to think about their responses, and can sometimes be less confrontational than speaking face to face about difficult topics. My daughter is a bit younger and has just got her first phone, and I'm actually already quite surprised by how she will sometimes open up about things over text that she doesn't necessarily want to talk about in person.    Reluctance to seek professional help is very common in teenagers - there are options like text-based services, that can be helpful for some kids who don't like to talk face to face. Or he may just not be ready to take that step yet- the fact that he's communicating with you is really positive though, and having that line of communication open with him is a really protective factor for him. Keep us posted on how you're going- I hope the traineeship goes well for him :)  ... View more