Truly hoping I can find some clarity and support in writing this post. Sorry if I ramble a little. My brain is quite overwhelmed at the moment with everything going on.
Bit of background
My husband and I have just separated, he has always worked away so not around to support my parenting consistently and have different parenting styles.
My daughter experiences anxiety attacks, flashbacks, has self-harmed in the past due to bullying and is currently receiving MH support. She is obviously impacted by the separation at the moment also.
In the past month or two my daughter has been wanting to drink with her friends. We have had talked about my feelings on it - I started drinking too young, impact on her brain, addiction in our family, legal age etc. She had a friend sleep over last night and I noticed my daughter's behaviour was a bit more loving to me and chatty, and could smell a sweet smell. I chose not to say anything. This morning when I was getting dirty clothes out of her room I found 2 empty Cruiser bottles (not hidden very well). Now I am left with the issue of how to handle it on my own.
My biggest concern is not really that she was drinking but she was dishonest about it and even had the hide last night to say things like you can trust me. That is really like throwing salt on the wound. I now feel like I can't. We have always had a very close relationship. I know I need to talk to her about it when she comes home and there needs to be consequences BUT I am worried about the consequences of the consequences if that makes sense.
I am realistic that she will want to experiment and drink but right now I don't have the capacity myself to be confident in my decision making and moving forward with this.
Would love to hear any thoughts.
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