@SingleMomtoLex First off, you are certainly not being selfish. The easy thing to say is you've done all you can and more, and enough is enough. Move to Florida. Give your daughter time to hopefully grow and mature and eventually realize all you've done for her and hope she eventually comes back in some way. Having said all of that, I really don't know if it is realistic. I can only try to imagine being in your shoes. I don't know that I could walk away under any circumstance. The only advice I can offer is to do what you think is right. That's all you can control. Does it solve your problem? Unlikely. But it might give you enough peace to get through it. I've only been part of this community for a few days. I have to say it is tough seeing how many people look to be trying hard to be good parents but find themselves in somewhat hopeless situations. Before becoming a parent I would've said everyone needs to toughen up and not baby their kids so much. But when dealing with your own child, especially a teenager, and seeing and understanding how fragile their psyches can be and realizing how bad the outcomes can be I'm really at a loss for what to do. I thought I wasn't prepared to help take care of a newborn. That looks so easy now. Dirty diapers and crying and not sleeping seem like a bargain. I hope you find some way to get through this. All I really know is that you are not being selfish.
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I recently found out that my 14 yo daughter has a secret Reddit account and has shared an NSFW photo of herself. From waist to neck. Naked, but with hand and arm over her breasts. More covered than she would be by most bikinis, but still naked. She’s a good kid, but socially awkward with few friends. She talks and shares with me a little, but I know I’m not really getting behind the curtain. Her relationship with control-freak mom is terrible. No sharing of any kind there. I’m pretty liberal about phone use and her “digital life”, and I respect her privacy. Her mom would like to know everything she does every second of the day. Given that, I haven’t told my wife about this. Doing so would be apocalyptic. I haven’t talked to my daughter yet either. I’m trying to see a professional counselor very soon, but looking for some wisdom. I, of course, want to go directly at this with my daughter, but (A) I don't know if I'll do more harm than good, and (B) I've violated her privacy to see this and I'm concerned that will make all things worse. Part of me wants to buy every piece of tech known to man to monitor every keystroke she makes. But I'm fighting hard not to be that guy. I know she has looked at and posted stuff online that is not consistent with how she represents herself to me. I know she lies to me. I don't love those things, but I'm realistic. Most teenagers behave that way. I certainly did. But I can't just say "that's how it is" when it comes to posting a photo. On a scale of 1 - 100 my level of concern is pegging at 100. Is that warranted? Thanks in advance for any thoughts.
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