I recently found out that my 14 yo daughter has a secret Reddit account and has shared an NSFW photo of herself. From waist to neck. Naked, but with hand and arm over her breasts. More covered than she would be by most bikinis, but still naked. She’s a good kid, but socially awkward with few friends. She talks and shares with me a little, but I know I’m not really getting behind the curtain. Her relationship with control-freak mom is terrible. No sharing of any kind there. I’m pretty liberal about phone use and her “digital life”, and I respect her privacy. Her mom would like to know everything she does every second of the day. Given that, I haven’t told my wife about this. Doing so would be apocalyptic. I haven’t talked to my daughter yet either. I’m trying to see a professional counselor very soon, but looking for some wisdom. I, of course, want to go directly at this with my daughter, but (A) I don't know if I'll do more harm than good, and (B) I've violated her privacy to see this and I'm concerned that will make all things worse. Part of me wants to buy every piece of tech known to man to monitor every keystroke she makes. But I'm fighting hard not to be that guy. I know she has looked at and posted stuff online that is not consistent with how she represents herself to me. I know she lies to me. I don't love those things, but I'm realistic. Most teenagers behave that way. I certainly did. But I can't just say "that's how it is" when it comes to posting a photo. On a scale of 1 - 100 my level of concern is pegging at 100. Is that warranted? Thanks in advance for any thoughts.
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