My partner has a 5 year old son with his ex.    His ex unfortunately seems to use his son as a pawn and he has only seen his son two times this year.   My partner and I have two young children together - 2 & 1.   My partner spent a few hours with his son at my partners parents place over the weekend for a Christmas celebration as he won't get to see his son for Christmas.   My partner went to the lunch on his own and the younger kids and I stayed at home.   Over the years my partners ex has withdrawn visitations (not court ordered), been really friendly and nice one minute and then cut contact the next.   Am I wrong in not wanting my children to be caught up in the middle of this?   I really wish things were different and we could all have a relationship but I think things are too volatile and unstable.    I am trying to protect my kids from getting to know their brother then only be able to see and hear from him a couple of times a year. I also don't want to have them happy and excited to see him and then have that withdrawn too.   Yes....there is more to the story, there always is but I don't want to make it a novel...and yes we have tried to go down the road of getting a court order in place but unfortunately that isn't possible right now either. I have tried to build a relationship with my partners ex before, for the sake of the kids only to have her stop messaging me and cut contact because I apparently said something she didn't agree with.   I just want to know am I the big mean ogre here or what should I do? We have said that we want my partner and his son to build a relationship first before building the relationship with the little ones too.   I need some serious advice please. ... View more