I know it was really hard for her as well as myself as I was gone for 6 days. I had a 4 day labour and 2 days recovery. When I got home she wanted nothing to do with me as a self presentation method in case I had to go again. Which I did, as baby developed jaundice and we ended up being admitted again. And then when we got home from that, I had to be admitted myself due to severe mastitis and they thought I had cysts. Luckily I didn't. Its all been A LOT to deal with. I love her so much I just feel like its too hard and I dont have the energy to deal with her. Its hurting me so bad. I will definitely reach out to my doctor, its just really hard and confronting to make that initial contact and admitting defeat.
... View more
Hi. I have a 12 day old newborn and a 21 month old toddler. I was worried that I wasn't going to love this baby as much as I love my toddler however I'm finding the opposite issue. My toddler is violent towards me and just never listens but isn't like that towards her dad. I just want to hide away in bed with my newborn whilst dad looks after our toddler because It just feels too hard and makes me really sad. I have BPD, depression and anxiety that is currently being treated with medication and therapy. But I haven't spoken to anyone about how I'm feeling as I feel guilty, embarrassed and deeply ashamed. Everyone is always telling me how perfect at being a mum I am and It just makes it harder. Now I'm worried that my depression is coming back because I am just tired all the time and don't want to leave bed but hubby goes back to work next week and I have to look after them on my own.
... View more