Hi warm welcome from a covid lockdown! Have you thought of headspace or PCYC? There are some great team building and independence and resilience supports for teens! I am not sure whether you need to reconnect and rediscover your own 14 year old? It's always a challenge and it's great that you have dropped in here to start the difficult conversation! We are not perfect and acknowledging our imperfections can help us bring some playfulness back into our relationships. Stay in touch welcome 🏵️ ... View more

Thanks for sharing it seems a really difficult time. I strongly believe that your daughter needs help getting out of that peer group and away from smoking pot because, and I am not saying this is always true, marijuana smoking does lead to alcohol and other drugs either experimentally or as addictions. I know from experience teenagers seem to have an egocentred I rule the world nothing will happen and nobody understands attitude. This is hard. Maybe connect with your inner teenager and attempt to reconnect with your daughter through empathy and care. This I know is hard as well. It's quite clear you care and reaching out reveals your vulnerability and strength: you know how to ask for help and your daughter needs to know that's ok too. It's hard to change friends and harder to convince a teenager that drugs aren't cool and aren't the answer to all her problems. Social media these days seems a bullying tool as well as a depressing tool for people to create envy, jealousy and uncertainty through the fake or false images people present of their imagined lives. I do believe counselling would help. Even if your daughter had time away from all this mess and abuse and found a light that shows her she is worth it, she doesn't need drugs to make friends, and she doesn't need drugs to solve her problems. I am sure both parents care and she needs to know this. A counsellor might offer some self esteem tools as well as acceptance wand commitment tools or therapy that will help her rise to the best she can do at this time in her life. I don't know if she is struggling academically, however if school became a place where she felt supported and engaged to pursue her interests then she might walk away from drug abuse confidently. My knowledge of public schools in NSW is quite extensive (in regional areas) and there is a noticeable lack in emotional and social intelligence coaching and understanding. Indirect aggression between females is often overlooked and perhaps a counsellor could help her understand aggression and harm in terms of malicious gossip, rumour spreading, aggressive staring and exclusion. A lot of this is not addressed in the early ages at primary school and needs to be addressed quite soon with your daughter. Best wishes. I hope your daughter sees the care in your eyes and your intentions and feels the warmth of your embrace and unconditional love. Social media is an addiction and hell breaking loose is a sign of this. We need empathy and I hope you have felt that from me and haven't felt judged in your time of need and support. Take care ... View more

Hi Parenting and work can be stressful. Have you ever thought of NATURE for destressing and also bonding time with your children? I have read some research that suggests we need to have trees around us and perhaps doing something with your teenage daughter that is sensual and enjoyable might help her understand "sex" and dependence. Loving ourselves is just as important as receiving love and I hear your concerns. The clingyness seems to present to you as low self esteem or too dependent and you might be concerned she's being manipulated or used for sex without developing her own identity, necessary in teenage life. Teenagers are known for their risk taking behaviours because of their hormones and the physiological changes. This can make it hard. Teenagers can also seem more strong willed and egocentred and, in my experience, think they can rule the world. Losing the connection with her is something you might be feeling and participating in her life might seem difficult. She needs to know you're going to support her and love her unconditionally because you don't want her to drift off into relationships that might not have a trace of that sort of love that is right: caring and compassionate. You obviously care and clearly have an enjoyable time with your family. Let's hope your daughter who is discovering sex, can also reconnect with her playful nature in the family and have some fun too. Allegedly trees and nature walks can help improve mental health. Art and dance as well as singing can also help. I hope the boyfriend is willing to become a part of enjoying life and the building of an adult identity as part of your family values. This might help your daughter regain some independence and also develop in her intimate relationship. Thank you for sharing. I hope you can find some time, as a busy and much needed mother and worker, to do some activities for YOU! Some time to laugh, out your feet up and Say " I AM OK and my children are loved and great." ... View more

Hi Elissa You sound stressed and also blessed to have a new partner who is supportive! There has been some research after covid19 about kids who found it hard to go to school before covid and now struggle going back. Yes I hear you when you say you feel victimised and disrespected as well as unheard because you are a single mother. There are a lot of people both men and women who still blame and shame single mothers in the public school system. You can call your local department of education Office and seek advice with a well being officer. Bullying is a problem and it's not well addressed in the classroom. Is there a school counsellor who can help? Seeing one can help your son build resilience and learn ways to not let bullying get him down. The school needs to provide safe places - I have heard of schools with chickens, gardens and quiet rooms for colouring in. Do you have these? What about joining clubs targetting student interests? Music, chess, art, etc? I also think have destressing activities has helped me and my children after school. We are learning to listen to our problems and also fun ways of getting through the day. My daughter doesn't like school and finds her teachers boring immature and lack motivation. We have had to think of daydreaming techniques to help her when she feels overwhelmed and bored so she can still enjoy the day. I don't stress my kids out with academic achievement and NAPLAN at their school has proved boring. Try fun activities after school like throwing water balloons or paint at a canvas or hitting a tennis ball- $11 tennis on a pole at KMart great for de-stress!! We try walking ... Anti bullying programs at school do exist and you can ask. You need to document all you have tried at the school and also, if things get bad, see your doctor for a chat and thy might have ideas. Is hard when you feel your loved one is hurting and feels isolated. Try emotionally connecting through spending time. School shouldn't feel like a prison and ALL children deserve support and respect. Make sure you encourage him to speak out and don't feel like nothing can be done. Take care of yourself and your family. Being a single mother shouldn't be a criminal sentence. Some people stigmatised. Find some time for relaxation and feeling positive about who you are and what you have achieved. ... View more

Hi everyone I am a solo parent interested in emotional and social intelligence in childhood development. I enjoy learning how adults can learn from parenting how to change their relationships with other adults! I have found being a parent a struggle that has been rewarding. I enjoy playful parenting, arts and crafts and trying to find ways to bring smiles into the school day. I am also interested in anti bullying activities that can be integrated into the school curriculum in all aspects of the primary school day. I believe bullying and feelings of isolation can start in kindergarten and if not worked with properly can make high school and beyond worse (than the studies make it!). I enjoy creative conversations and supporting people through difficult times, when I can, because I have experienced and worked in areas that highlight the real social need to create a more supportive society that helps and protects rather than isolates, shames and blames people (single mother stigma questioned here!!). SCAPEGOATING and blaming , I believe is a way of life people find easy. Accommodating differences and supporting positive changes seems, for some, more difficult. Great chatting looking forward to chatting more with you 🌞 Cate ... View more

How are you today? I hope you've had some time at least to take some deep breaths and if you're feeling active, turn up your favourite song and shake, dance, laugh and just enjoy your body and forget the difficult times for a little while! I hope your three year old is keeping their hands clean, at least for a part of the day. Take care and I hope you get some sunshine and silly time to enjoy the fun of parenting and the smiles on their faces ❤️🤪🌞 ... View more

I am glad to hear you're feeling better. FEE HELP AT UNE University is one online option where you can study online. Please remember to speak to someone before you decide anything drastic. I am a single mother and I understand the aggression of men and also, unfairly, of a lot of women who don't empathise. I hope you get things going. Have you thought of your kids starting a vegetable garden or visiting a community garden? Growing vegetables can help.cut costs and also get you outside and mucking about in dirt! Take care 🌞 ... View more

Just to add to the other reply- quite informative- have you tried emotion coaching and allocating a certain amount of time to spend together. Too much screen time reduces empathy (some research indicates this). Emotional awareness might deepen your relationship because she might reveal things that are disturbing her...best wishes with working on reconnecting... ... View more

It sounds like you've had more than enough. You need a whole day at least to yourself with no stress. Can you get assistance with daycare? Bernardo's might be a place to ask, the Salvation army for bills help.and advice, claiming bankruptcy might help or seeing a financial counsellor, and getting out for some fresh air and a walk. Your ex sounds selfish and difficult because you're looking after everything. Put everything down and find a women's centre for counselling, yoga, and support. Neighbour centres might have cheaper kids activities or PCYC?? Just to get the kids out and about Chatting on forums about similar issues is great! It's not worth it to leave your kids. They are great. Find something positive like hope the youngest becomes an artist and can smear their poop all over the art world! Parenting with humour is fun and playful as well as knowing other mums struggle ... One unhealthy lunch shouldn't be the undoing of you! Shaming you is not the right thing when you're only human and you're looking after children. Lifeline can help you with a chat and give you directions for more support. Family support networks are also available in NSW. Brighter Futures might offer some assistance. I hope you get some rest and a break simply to feel like you again! ... View more