Hi again @LittleWren ! xx   Thank you for all of this its very warming to get on and read all this support even if its only a fraction of my day! xx   Of course please don't feel like you're pressuring me or acting like you know it all, I'm happy to hear advice, criticism and of course personal experience, hindsight is a powerful thing even if it isn't my own!   Unfortunately with my son he shuts off when you ask him for anything that takes what he would see as too much effort. He seems happy whenever he makes a small sale.. but asking him to organise a spreadsheet for costs of making a product so he knows how much profit there is that can be used for the business, or asking him how his advertising ideas are going, or his brother asking him what his plans are for writing sections of the business he just blows up with 'I don't know' or 'you know I'm not good at that sort of stuff' or completely goes silent treatment on us. I know he wants it to work but he doesn't seem to understand that having a self employed business usually requires the person to work their but off all day on the clock and as much time out of hours researching, preparing, brainstorming etc.    Gosh I always feel like I'm rambling, have a good day everyone ill check back in later hopefully. Can't wait for the weekend! xx ... View more

Hi @Portia_RO    Thank you so much for the kind words, it certainly means a lot to know I'm not alone or doing anything wrong. Sorry if I keep this quite brief I have a lot on today but want to make sure I reply to everyone! xx   Thanks a bunch for the Job site support links, ill be sure to research them a ton when i get home tonight and then hopefully introduce my oldest to them! Hoping i may finally get through to him if its 1-2-1.    Its been tough for sure, I've got a lot on my plate with work, family, medical and all sorts of other issues that never seem to end. its a never ending cat and mouse chase with a problem arising every time you solve one!! My kids don't mean to hurt me but of course them comparing each other and fighting is always a pain on my heart. I talk to my S.O. but besides that not many people are around at the moment. Most of our close friends are either not parents or have moved further away.   Thank you again for the kind words and show of support! xx ... View more

Hello @LittleWren !  Thank you so much for the warm message, its very comforting to know I'm not alone with these worries, I'll try my best to acknowledge your points here and I hope you are also able to help your twins in continuing to push the conversation in a meaningful direction! x   I'm certainly hoping that open discussions would get both my boys to open up more and accept their responsibilities. My youngest is already discussing wanting to help pay for rent etc once he finds a good part time job after schooling (of course id want him to have it for himself starting out as he's never had his own money in that sense). My oldest however has recently asked family and friends to support him in starting a 3d printing business. He's got a few machines and seems happy with what he is trying to do but any attempts to help, encourage or event just know what he's up to are met with childish tantrums, in many instances he just becomes a brick wall.    We have already stepped back on the finances, he has to pay for part of his rent and put money towards the weekly shopping and our monthly utilities. These payments often come in small amounts instead of in one sum at the due date or are often late or don't get received at all. this is despite him doing occasional chores for his father and getting a few 3d sales each week. He also receives support from Universal credit. He makes enough to scrape by on whilst we are still being generous but I don't know where the money goes and he just doesn't seem to understand the importance of money. he takes and takes but doesn't think about anyone else.    I think this is a big reason as to why his brother feels so left out as he is more mature and capable in the moment. I will certainly try 1-2-1 outings, i think its a wonderful idea. I was thinking of trying to again push my oldest to look into a part time job as I don't know how lucrative his printing will be any time soon. If anyone would have suggestions or links to some good articles id be very appreciative. I think forcing job search apps on him right away might throw him off even more.   Thank you again @LittleWren I hope I didn't veer off too far from the path with this one, i just have so many thoughts and troubles about all this. ... View more

Hi @Jennifer-RO Thank you for having me and thank you for the reply even if you don't have personal experience within the matter.    Its been going on for a long time but really now as they are both older its coming to the surface more often and with more aggression. My youngest has always had arguments with his brother, I don't know of any siblings that don't at least occasionally, but he never usually lashes out at others. I don't know if its because he's about to move to a new stage in his life (work/six form etc) but it seems that he now puts more notice into the fact that his older brother doesn't work, doesn't have many commitments or requirements and in his eyes 'gets away with it'. More and more he has been copying the I don't care mentality and every argument loops round to his brother. ... View more