Daysleeping avoidance

[Cowboi]

Hi there,
My teens new avoidance strategy is daysleeping which is completely frustrating. During the lockdown we have been completely out of routine and now trying to get back into school he won't get up during the day at all, even food won't work to get him up atm. I'm concerned and have started a sleep strategy turning off the internet for the wee hours, but I think he may need more assistance and I don't think he's going to come to any appointment with me school, gp or otherwise. Tiny talks at opportune wakeful moments is frustratingly slow progress.

[Janine-RO]

Hi @Cowboi , 

That sounds incredibly frustrating for you, and I imagine that it must be pretty disruptive now that school is starting to return. Is he expected to be back to face to face learning now? 

We have some good tips for basic sleep hygiene for teenagers here , I'm also wondering if he's staying up late on screens at all at night?  I know that some families find shutting screens away in another room at bedtime to be a useful strategy, and as you say, with the weird environment of the lockdown it is easy to get into really odd sleeping patterns. Turning off the internet at night definitely sounds like a good first step, I'm wondering if maybe a total device ban after a certain time could be something to consider until his sleep starts to normalise a bit? 

Having to wake up at the same time for school every time can definitely help to reset the body clock - you say it' s an avoidance strategy, how do you think he is feeling about returning to school?  If there's some underlying anxiety at play there leading to some avoidance, do you think he'd be open to trying out a service like eHeadspace? I know you mentioned that you don't think he'd be keen on an in-person appointment, but this service is delivered entirely online  so could be a good option for him.  I can hear that he may be reluctant, but it could be worth having a chat to a GP if he'd be willing to go, just to rule out anything physical going on. 

If you feel like you could use some extra support yourself, we do also have a free one to one parents support service that you can access here, where you can talk to a professional on the phone or online, and it's free and confidential. 

Wishing you all the best - I'm also just going to tag some of our active parent community champs here to see if they have any advice or wisdom to share on this one  

@PeteNorthside  @compassion  @sunflowermom @sidneysdad  @Dadof4kids 

I've also just edited this to add - we did have a child and family professional answering questions on teenagers' sleep here a few months ago, so just thought I would link that here in case it's helpful for you to have a read through. 

[sidneysdad]

Hi 

am just another parent , can not offer any advice better than what Janine has offered.My thoughts are personal to me .   when the world seems to just be overpowering or depressing , as it is at this very moment, and i feel depressed about it, all i want to do is pull the covers over my head and stay in bed until it all goes away. This of course is not a workable solution. Your child might be feeling very depressed about the way the world is now, and where it's heading with climate change as well as covid 19. I certainly was as a teenager. You may have to really go to uncomfortable conversations to try to get to the bottom of this and that may well  require serious professional help. Prior to that in your own way you need to ask ,what is hurting you so much you need to hide from the world ? It can be challenging to ask the hard questions and I know I often shy away from asking them myself.I hope you can find a way to crack this roll into a ball defence your child has adopted.You will need to be strong, but I know you will get get good support from this site

[PeteNorthside]

I hope the switching off the internet at night has been helpful. Becoming aware of blue light at night can be helpful too, and there are blue light filters for phones, and electronic devices that are pretty convenient and easy to use

- https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/block-blue-light-to-sleep-better#bottom-line

Slowly moving electronic devices to outside the room can be helpful as well. I found that moving my desktop computer into the living spaces quite helpful in separating work and sleep spaces

- https://www.sleepfoundation.org/articles/screen-time-and-insomnia-what-it-means-teens