HELP! At a loss and super worried.

[Sunshine72]

@Sandee,
Seriously you are so strong! I admire your approach! It’s clearly got him thinking.

The having no expectations, I think is definitely the way to go - that way you don’t feel let down. The not reacting I feel is calming. I do hope it’s sinking in for him.

I hope your night and weekend go well. I’d like to say keep strong but I think you’re doing an amazing job. xx

[Sandee]

@Sunshine72
Right back at you You are doing an amazing job more than most thats for sure.
Funny my husband and i had to go out and just got home. The weather here has turned nast and wouldnt you know it my son text my husband asking if he could pick them up and drive them to the mates house. Ok so no please but now we have an address whoo hoo. Its the little things that count.
Omg how ridiculous i must sound to people reading our posts but i know you get it.
Thinking of you xx

[Sunshine72]

@Sandee, yes I totally get it. An address that’s a win for sure 👍🏼
Hope that helps give some peace of mind for tonight. 🙏🏼 I’m so glad he asks for lifts. It’s such a good thing that he feels he can ask you guys. 🥰

More than what we have tonight. Our son came home from work went upstairs, heard banging around and now he’s gone out! When I said I didn’t realise you were heading out he said ‘yea’ Wouldn’t say who with or where and just left. I didn’t show him but I’m cranky! I said home before 11pm please and he said yeah whatever. So again I have no idea where he is, who he’s with or when he’ll be home. The joys! I’m very sad. Story of my life. Hate weekends. Let’s hope tomorrow is a better day for us xx

[Sandee]

@Sunshine72 

How I wish we could communicate off here and just maybe we lived close would be a live saver for both of us,

Anyway im here if you get stressed tonight . Im sure he will come home maybe just after 11 as I feel they like to push it a bit .

Thinking of you xx

[Sunshine72]

@Sandee,

Thanks so much for your support and being there. Means a lot. Not many people you can talk to about what we’re going through who really understand.

Terrible night and I feel like my head is going to explode. Not sure if it’s stress or sinus or not enough water but the nurofens are finally kicking in. Thank Goodness - been a horrendous headache.

My nerves can’t deal with it but to him it’s no big deal. Just after 11pm I get a message saying on my way home. 11:30pm and still not home. I message and get a response ‘my phone has 1%’. The positive was that at least I got a response. Then no further responses as I frantically try to gauge how far from home he is.

It’s just after midnight and he’s finally home, out of phone battery and I try to calmly talk to him, letting him know that I’m happy he’s home safe but I was worried. I asked if he could let me know in future who he’s with and where, but he thinks I’m over reacting and responded with, I messaged to say i was on my way home. Not my fault my phone and charger died then stormed off to his room.

Now of course I can’t sleep!

I wish too we could communicate more privately. I’m grateful for what we have but it does feel weird at the same time when I see over 1000 people have read our messages. My gut tells me we’re in different states not that it makes a difference.

I hope you get some sleep tonight. I’m going to try, but these late nights are draining.

I keep thinking that when he’s 18 it will all be different and hubby and I can live life again, as we will no longer be responsible but who am I kidding. Turning 18 is not magically going to make him responsible, it will bring its next set of challenges. Ive got to worry about today not 2yrs away! Clearly I’m exhausted and need sleep cause I’m overthinking now and need to stop the doom and gloom mind set.

Tomorrow is a new day. Well technically it’s already tomorrow - now almost 1am.

Thanks for being there. Xx

[Sandee]

@Sunshine72 

Thats def a long night but its good he is coming home because im sure there are other parents out there where the kids arent.

I bet you had a headache with all the worry. I know what you mean re turning 18 my hubby and I say that too that we will get our lives back then but lets face it maybe not.

I hope you can take it easy today and get some rest to make up for last night. You need to look after yourself because you are only just recovering from being sick and dont want to go backwards.

Hope tonight is better xx

[Sunshine72]

@Sandee,

You’re right that I need to look at the positive that he came home. I couldn’t sleep afterwards and made the stupid mistake of going onto social media and seeing all the happy proud families and the missing teens. The ‘Have you seen…’ posts.

Couldn’t sleep so tried putting on a meditation to talk me down but my mind was so active I think I’ve become immune to them as my thoughts just overtook the talking.

Anyway he got up this morning at 7:30am (took a shower-first this week), there’s a positive and then left. I said good morning but he wasn’t having any conversation and was in a mood. No breakfast and went to leave. I asked him to take a charger and he said he couldn’t be bothered and walked out. Here’s to another great day. No idea where he’s going/who he’s with/when he’ll be home.

I am about to go for a lay down because I’m still not well, slow recovery but lack of sleep isn’t helping.

Have you heard from your son? Hope you have a better weekend. Xx

[Sandee]

@Sunshine72  yes you need to rest otherwise you will get sick again. Im sorry he didnt say where he was going today but the fact he has left early and without a charge id say he will be home and maybe earlier than last night.

I know what you mean re social media I find that when im not in a good spot I dont go on it its too depressing.

Re my son he rang me and said he was on his way home. He has been home and showered and asked if I could drop him off at the shops. He also said hey mum do you think that maybe after school one day we could get some new clothes? I must admit I was a little shocked so maybe its slowly sinking in but I dont want to moss it just yet we will see.

I hope you get some rest and your son comes home earlier . Im thinking of you xx

[Sunshine72]

@Sandee,

Oh I love this! Getting clothes after school. Yay! That sounds so promising that he asked that. I have fingers and toes crossed. He could have just said can I get some new clothes without the mention of school.

I love that he contacted you and came home and showered. All positive signs.

Hoping things keep looking up. I’m so happy to hear this.

Im not holding my breath for tonight. Going to try and get some sleep now as I’ll need some strength for the evening. xx

[Chloe-RO]

Hi @Sunshine72 and @Sandee ,

We recognise the difficult place you are both in. It is understandable there is so much stress and sadness at the thought of your children not being home. It sounds even harder to hear that there is little anyone can do until they are ready to communicate.

We are glad to see you supporting each other through this. It reminds us that we are not alone. We encourage you both to practice self-care and reach out for supports for yourselves. This 'waiting game' can be long and hard. Here is a fact sheet that may help you embrace self-care even though it may seem everything is against you right now.

Please know you are not alone. We are here and we are listening.