Help my 17 year old son

[Preciosa]

My son is 17 and for two years he become bed bounded
He got excluded at 16
His brother hasn’t visited for 6
Years
He’s also addicted to play station
I did removed
I have social worker on case
But nothing helping
He also come out from hodpital fir therapy but
My son denies he isn’t unwell

[Jess1-RO]

Hi @Preciosa and welcome to the ReachOut forums! We are very grateful for your courage in sharing what is happening for your son. 

It sounds like your son has been really struggling the last few years. I can imagine it must be so challenging to see your son withdraw for such an extended period of time- really feel for you and your family right now

You mentioned that your son has had a social worker and has been hospitalised before, is this correct? Have previous supports recommended anything to help your son moving forward?

Is your son studying at the moment? You mentioned he has been bed bound, are you able to tell us a bit more about that?

You may notice I have moved your comment across to a new topic, so that our community can have a space for you to offer support and suggestions  We would love to hear back from you soon

[Preciosa]

Many thanks for your reply
Yes has been very difficult
He has been two different hospitals under mental health act they assumed he was having a bit of Spectrum autism
But no one test him to diagnose him properly
As he refused any meds or tests
No he is not studying at all
Yes I’m having support with psiquiatrist nurse therapist
As well social worker
But they all feel this is mysterious case
As my son won’t ipen up to any of them
He doesn’t have friends either
His brother tried to visit
But he tried to hit him
So brother stoped visiting
Just to add I moved house two years ago
Also he has been unhappy and bullied at high school
He hated that school as well teachers
As he missed all his mates from the previous primary school
His dad thinks he’s being lazy
And in comfort zone
But I start thinking he’s having anxiety of the world outside his room
To clarify he’s been house bounded
He only goes kitchen shower and room
He won’t step in garden at all
Anyway he’s lovely boy just needs right help and I’m not able to do so on my own
But I don’t want him in that room forever either 😒😪😓😞

[Jess1-RO]

Thank you for getting back to us @Preciosa

It sounds like such a challenging situation when professionals haven't been able to give you a definitive diagnosis. What are your thoughts about the discussion of autism? Was this something they discussed at the hospital?

You mentioned that he has some supports such as a social worker and nurse- even if he is not ready to open up to health professionals, they can be a really good support for you Do you get any in house support such as a disability or mental health support worker to help you out? There are a few community based organisations in Australia that offer a range of services to help in situations when someone is at home and needs more support, and to support you.

I can't begin to imagine how hard this must be for you when he is scared to leave the home- have you got a support system to be there for you? Such as friends, family or professionals?

We are all thinking of you today!

[Preciosa]

Hi there many thanks for your kind supportive message
Just to let you all know I’m not in Australia I’m In London .just an update about my son
No changes he won’t talk with no one but he chats 5 m day with me not much but better than nothing
Psiquiatrist today spoke with him privately but he kept filming her .
She’s trying to assess him
Fir autism or severe depression sadly
Also they start suggesting
Independent living for him
Because he treats me like his servant really .
He’s my son I love him no doubt
But I’m walking fir two years in egg shells with him
Wherever I go I worry
When I open his bedroom door I have fears ????
And I have a very delicate job
Indeed wich is in palliative unit
As health care assistant
As well dementia unit
Yes I just know something has to b done and I don’t want my son to spent another year in his bedroom like prisioneir if his own life 😒😞😢
God help anyone wth mild or severe depression
Such complicated illness
Many thanks

[sunflowermom]

Dear @Preciosa 

I am sorry you are going through such a tough time.  I can tell you love your son very much and will do anything for him.  Its so scary when we don't have the answers we need.  When we are not sure what is going to happen next.  I can totally relate. My daughter had gone through a severe depression, anxiety and a whole host of things for the past almost 2 years.  She is recovering now.

Just keep doing your best, keep seeking answers and additional help.  Please take care of yourself- reaching out to others for support is one way to help keep you sane.  

My heart goes out to you.

PS: my nephew has a form of severe autism discovered in early teens, very smart and stayed in his room for years only contact was his online video gaming friends. He is now 18 1/2 and he is making huge strides even starting college outside the home part time.  I just want to bring you hope.  Things can and will eventually get better.

[Dad4good]

Hi @Preciosa 

Thanks for sharing your experiences, I can imagine it must be very emotional for you.

I just wanted to touch on one thing (because @Jess1-RO  and @sunflowermom  have already provided great feedback!). . . .

I can hear that you care deeply for your son, and are being very proactive in trying to improve your sons life. Please just remember that you also need to look after yourself. When our loved ones are putting our safety at risk, there are two victims: your son and yourself. Please reach out to community services in your area, and let them know that your also a victim in this difficult situation.

I wish you the best of luck, and keep fighting for both of you! 

[rubymeadow1]

Hi

I am wondering what has been suggested to you about him living independently. How do they suggest he . do that?  I feel like my almost 18 year old son is very anxious about living independently and treats me like a servant as well. I am his only parent and the only person who has been with him every day of his life basically. He just tried to kill himself and won't talk to a therapist.  He does have a sister who is 20 and cares about him a lot, but my son won't divulge what he is feeling with us.

Have you had any luck getting more help?  Has your son always had difficulties since he was little?  I am wondering that because of what you said about autism.

Regards.

[Preciosa]

Hi sorry to hear about your son .
No my son never been autistic
Therapists and Psicologist assuming that but so far no diagnosis as my son refusing
Even to see any doctor .
Social worker suggesting I depend living as she’s saying
Living with me it’s not working
Fir him to grow up needs tough love wich I started to agree
Even my son keeps saying
He only want to live with me
And he’s scared to go to live on his own .
He’s will be 18 next month
And help and support
Will be less they saying .
I’m willing to let him go
For his own good
Because I’m not going to b used as his servant
As soon he grows better fir his social and mental health really
It’s taugh decisions for us mums but we have to decide best for them even if our hearts 💕 suffers. As long they feel their path in their own personal life’s .

[Preciosa]

Thank you I do have hope
Obe day he will come out of that room and live his life as any normal teenager
Happy fir you and your son out and about going college
Best wishes