07-25-2017 01:42 AM
07-25-2017 10:57 AM
Hi @Sunshine, I'm sorry to hear that things have been so stressful and that your daughter is feeling so suicidal. And I'm really sorry to hear that you both lost her Nan. That's really sad, and a big loss like that can be difficult to process.
It may not feel like it at the moment, but it's actually a good thing your daughter is telling friends. I'm not an expert by any means, but my first thought was that she's scared because she doesn't really want to die, she just really needs the pain to stop. I know when my daughter was very suicidal, it's extremely hard as a parent to hear. We want the best for them and wish we could just wave a magic wand and fix everything. Counselling for you both is a great move, and good on you for being proactive, not only for your daughter, but for your own mental health as well.
ReachOut offers coaching for parents which I found to be really useful. It's free and flexible, and done online and over the phone. Have a look at the link here to find out more.
07-25-2017 12:22 PM
My sincerest condolences for you losing your mum. She must have been very special to both you and your daughter. I'm so sorry for you both. What a huge loss.
It's so great that you're home and feeling your feelings, which I know is so bloody hard to do but is so much better than running from them or numbing them.
Can I ask what you think would be most helpful for yourse3lf and your daughter right now? Have you considered something like grief counselling for you both?
10-20-2017 05:41 PM
I hear you! My 12 year old is also self harming. Just a few days shy of her birthday, I am considering cancelling everything. Not as punishment but because I was planning a sleep over with one girl and not sure if that is fair to the other child. I, too, am so angry and confused. I dragged myself out of bed to make a cake, arranged this crazy surprise celebration, running around and yet, she cuts herself. I know it cannot be helped and she did not readily tell us, but I'm still angry, What did I do wrong? My husband/stepfather wonders if he has done something wrong? I'm definitely knocked down; but not knocked out. Tomorrow, I cancelled all of my work, will pull her from school, and take her wherever she needs to go. Is this the right response? Should I cancel the sleep over?
11-04-2017 01:00 PM
07-24-2018 11:01 PM - last edited on 07-25-2018 09:59 PM by taokat
My daughter has been talking to a 10 year old about self harm, looks like they knowers each other through their online math class.
My daughter started self harm by showing this poor 10 year old all the scary pictures. The 10 year old is a really happy good kid, cared about her, asked her to stop. I feel my daughter is more for showing the 10 year old , got a strange pleasure of scaring her. I wish I knew this kid’s mom, stopp her daughter stay on line all the time. My daughter is not a person I want my 10 year old to hangout online. Last night I saw this kid started self harm too.
Watch out whom your daughter hangout with. I feel sorry for the other kid, she has been nice, trying to help someone beyond her capability. Before my daughter’s influence, she was this happy go lucky singing everyday kid. Now she has something to hide from her mom, self harm.
07-24-2018 11:13 PM
07-25-2018 09:50 AM
I'm hearing from your posts the last few days just how distressing this experience is, and I'm very sorry to hear what you are working through right now. Seeing someone else's self harming can be really distressing, so it is good to hear you are going to try to intervene and prevent your daughter sharing these images with younger children.
The road trip sounds like a good plan! Is your daughter seeing a counsellor/psychologist/General Practioner about her self harm?
I hope that the road trip is a nice break for the both of you
07-26-2018 08:53 AM
We are in the process of finding a therapist. We are not looking for one for her right now, it is more for us to get advice on what to do. If we want her to talk to someone, we have to be careful on how to bring it up.
Right now I enjoy her life appearing to be normal, and I am trying to help her live as normal and happy as she can, looks like she is happy.
The 10 year old is a really nice girl, caring about her, talking to her out this. It looks like the 10 year old tried self harm, then decided not to go on this path. She was trying to tell my daughter how good life is. My daughter said: we are all going to die anyway, what is the point?
The 10 year old gave smart wisdom: life is wonderful.
She is really nice, but I think she is dealing with something beyond her. It is hard to admit my daughter is the bad influence.
I somehow feel talking to 10 year old, showing her, scaring her is the main reason she is self harm. So I do wish there is a day they too can stop communicating. It will be good for both of them. I wish there is way I can find who the mom is.
So for my daughter's case, I am not sure stress is the main reason for self harm right now.
In real life, she is shy and timid, and powerless. somehow online talking to this 10 year old makes her powerful, and my daughter is enjoying her being the big bad influence.
07-26-2018 07:59 PM